Slavery Blog Posts | Comedy Central Indecision

Mississippi Absolutely Positively Ratifies Slavery Ban

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Feb 18, 2013 12:31 PM by Ilya Gerner | Comments:

Better 148 years late then never, the state of Mississippi has finally ratified the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, thanks in part to the work of an immigrant doctor inspired by the movie Lincoln.

According to the Clarion-Ledger, Dr. Ranjan Batra sat down to do some post-Lincoln Internet research, only to discover that Mississippi never officially ratified the 13th Amendment because of a clerical oversight.

In fact, both chambers of the Mississippi legislature had voted in favor of ratification in 1995, but the Secretary of State never filed the paperwork with the federal government, until Dr. Batra and another civic-minded citizen pointed out the error earlier this month…

On Feb. 7, Charles A. Barth, director of the Federal Register, wrote back that he had received the resolution: "With this action, the State of Mississippi has ratified the 13th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States."

Watch out, America! Mississippi has stepped boldly into the 1870s and there's almost nothing it can't do now, unless that thing involves timely execution of basic government functions.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Constitution, Mississippi, Movies, Slavery

Sometimes We Are All House Republicans

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Jan 18, 2013 02:00 PM by Ilya Gerner | Comments:

This week House Republicans gathered at a former slave plantation in a conference room named after a prominent 18th century Virginia slave-owning family, the Burwells, to discuss their minority outreach efforts. Awk-ward!

Almost as awkward as the fact that our nation's capital is named after a slave owner. Unfortunately, Democratic politicians — and even you, dear readers — will often end up in situations tied up with a loathsome piece of American history.

Wimpy Arkansas GOP Backs Away from Slavery and Child Murder

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Oct 9, 2012 11:53 AM by Ilya Gerner | Comments:

It appears that Mitt Romney's move toward the political center is having a wider impact than originally anticipated. No sooner had the candidate at the top of the GOP ticket backed away from his contention that 47% of Americans are barely worthy of serving as dressage horse stable hands, this bleeding heart syndrome has begun to infect even the most rock-ribbed of conservative state parties.

The latest to be struck down by viral liberalism is the Arkansas Republican Party. Ever since a takeover the State House appeared in sight, the state GOP has offered support to the likes of State Rep. Jon Hubbard, author of Letters to the Editor: Confessions of a Frustrated Conservative and opinions such as, "the institution of slavery that the black race has long believed to be an abomination upon its people may actually have been a blessing in disguise."

Barack Obama Distantly Related to America's First Known Slave

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Jul 30, 2012 05:15 PM by Gonzalo Cordova | Comments:

Ancestry.com, a genealogy site which will tell you if you're related to George Washington, but will leave out all the thieves, rapists and cutthroats in between, recently announced our nation's first black president is related to our nation's first known slave.

Three hundred years from now, some kid is going to run into the alien-controlled salt-mine where he works without health insurance and tell all the other child drone workers that his clone-father performed a genealogy test using the Internet implanted in his frontal cortex to discover that he is related, through the DNA of the laboratory womb used to birth him, to the PR guy who somehow got CBS to devote air time to this non-story.

Tags: Barack Obama, CBS, Slavery