South Carolina's New Number Two Dressed as Slave Owner

Although South Carolina Lieutenant Governor Ken Ard resigned in disgrace last week due to ethics violations, it looks like his replacement will be just as embarrassing for the Palmetto State.

Meet Glenn McConnell. You may recognize him from his well-publicized fondness for dressing up like a plantation owner. But, you know, not in a racist way…

The Republican lawmaker is perhaps best known for his unapologetic embrace of the Confederacy, grabbing national headlines in 2010 when he appeared in photos dressed as a confederate general — posing with two people presumably imitating slaves: McConnell is a member Sons of Confederate Veterans, Secession Camp #4, as he proudly lists on his official bio. He also owns a store that sells confederate memorabilia.

Asked in a 1999 interview on ABC's Nightline what he thinks when he sees the Confederate Flag, he replied… "I don't see black and white. I don't see racism." He added that it "hurt[s] our feelings" when people bring up race with the flag.

It's a good thing McConnell doesn't see color. That way, he won't notice the bright shade of red on Gov. Nikki Haley's face whenever she has to explain one of his racially tinged gaffes.

And if he can't see black and white, he definitely won't be able to read the thousands and thousands of letters he'll receive when he throws his next Confederate costume gala.

Tags: Civil War, Nikki Haley, Racism, Republicans, Slavery, South Carolina

Stephen Colbert on Tea Party Demands to Rewrite History

History, they say, is written by the winners. But then, however, it's rewritten by a bunch of dudes in discount tricorne hats and colonial soldier costumes.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Benjamin Franklin, Education, Founding Fathers, George Washington, Native American, Slavery, Stephen Colbert, Tea Party, Tennessee, The Colbert Report, Thomas Jefferson, Video

From the Pork Barrel: Newt Moon Rising

* Newt Gingrich promises a U.S. moon base by the end of his second term. Can't decide the funniest part of that sentence.

* Florida Republicans seem to be having trouble deciding between the lesser of two lessers.

* Nancy Pelosi's office says Nancy Pelosi is full of shit. Good! We're all in agreement.

* Barack Obama's SOTU address was written at an 8th grade reading level and appealed to 91 percent of viewers. That right there says everything you need to know about America.

* A lot of people think that Tennessee Tea Party demands to ban truths concerning slavery from school history text books is an overt attempt to whitewash the lives of the Founding Fathers. I disagree. I think they're just trying to get rid of all mention of black people.

* A new study disproves the common belief that people get more conservative as they age. On the contrary, I just think society gets more liberal as people get smarter.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Education, Florida, Founding Fathers, Mitt Romney, Nancy Pelosi, Newt Gingrich, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Racism, Republicans, Senior Citizens, Slavery, State of the Union, Tea Party, Tennessee

Rick Santorum: Slavery and Gay Marriage Pretty Much the Same Thing

Ppppffffffff… This Herman Cain guy. Am I right? I mean, what's up with him getting all this press these days. It's almost as if people aren't aware that he holds an insufficient amount of hatred for gay people…

Rick Santorum, continuing to try to stake out territory as the most stalwart social conservative in the presidential race, tonight raked fellow GOP'er Herman Cain for his "refusal to defend traditional marriage."

In a written statement, Santorum notes that on NBC’s "Meet the Press" this morning, Cain said he "wouldn't seek a constitutional ban for same sex marriage"and that states "would make up their own minds."

Herman Cain would not seek to change the Constitution of the United States for the purpose of further subjugating an already put-upon minority group?! Whaaaaat?! And he calls himself an American?

Santorum said: "I have been a long-time advocate for states' rights. However, I believe as Abraham Lincoln did — that states don't have the rights to legalize moral wrongs."

Exactly! Exactly as Abraham Lincoln did. Because, let's face it: Stopping two dudes from marrying each other is pretty much the modern day equivalent of putting to an end the institutionalized practice of owning human beings as property.

Okay, they're not exactly the same, but they're pretty close.

Photo by Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call Group/Getty Images

Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Constitution, Herman Cain, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Slavery

#SnarkWeek: Great Moments in U.S. Political Snark – Southern Chivalry

All this week, Indecision will be celebrating Michael Ian Black's new stand-up special and #SnarkWeek with a collection of the snarkiest moments in U.S. political history.

The year is 1856. Republican Sen. Charles Sumner of Massachusetts is unleashing a torrent of invective snark, directed at absent colleague Democratic Sen. Andrew Butler of South Carolina, mocking him as having "a mistress, who, though ugly to others, is always lovely to him; though polluted in the sight of the world, is chaste in his sight. I mean, the harlot, Slavery."

Two days later, Butler’s nephew, Rep. Preston Brooks — also of South Carolina — approached Sumner while he was busying himself with paperwork at his desk on the Senate floor, and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of him with his gold-headed heavy wooden cane until it broke in two while fellow South Carolina congressperson held Sumner's would-be rescuers at bay with a pistol.

Sumner spent the next three years recovering, while the incident helped push the United States toward a Civil War, ultimately decimating the landscape and economy of Brooks' precious South.

Be sure to visit cc.com/standup for all your #SnarkWeek needs, and don't miss the premiere of Michael Ian Black: Very Famous Saturday August 6 at 11/10c.

Tags: Charles Sumner, Civil War, House of Representatives, Preston Brooks, Senate, Slavery, Snark Week