Stephen Colbert on Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum's Marriage Pledge

Still not a hundred percent sure why everybody keeps pestering Bachmann and Santorum about the pledge marriage. We all know exactly where they stand on this issue; this is not exactly new news.

Besides, I went to a pledge marriage ceremony once, and it was lovely…

Coverage continues with the Bachmann Family's war on gay after the jump.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

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Tags: Bob Vander Plaats, Christianity, LGBT, Marcus Bachmann, Marriage, Marriage Equality, Michele Bachmann, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Slavery, Stephen Colbert, Taxes, The Colbert Report, The Family Leader, Video

Michele Bachmann on "Founding Father" John Quincy Adams

Oh, Michele Bachmann! You're so close to actually for real maybe winning the GOP nomination! Which would be a dream come true for a huge chunk of America's Republican base (and an even huger chunk of its Democratic base). Don't go screwing it up now by… well, talking.

Look, didn't you learn your lesson by talking yesterday? That clearly didn't work out well. Why are you gonna go and talk all over again. This is not your forte!

I understand the motivation to attempt to blink George Stephanopoulos for asking you these questions. But surely there must be other options.

Tags: ABC, Founding Fathers, George Stephanopoulos, John Quincy Adams, Michele Bachmann, PolitiFact, Primaries, Republicans, Slavery

Rick Santorum on Fetuses and Black Guys

Former senator from Pennsylvania Rick Santorum can always be counted on to unleash verbal brilliance upon an unsuspecting, undeserving world.

Here's what he said in a recent interview with conservative news outlet CNSNews.com…

"The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn't want to answer — is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no. Well if that person — human life is not a person, then — I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, 'we're going to decide who are people and who are not people.'"

Thank God for our Constitutional right to free speech. It is in gems of wisdom like this one that we truly see our nation's brilliant, sparkling heart.

Shine on, Rick Santorum, you crazy, crazy diamond.

Tags: Abortion, Barack Obama, Constitution, Rick Santorum, Slavery

Larry Wilmore on Mark Twain and the N-Word

On last night's Daily Show, Larry Wilmore addressed the controversy surrounding a new edition of Huckleberry Finn in which the n-word is replaced with "slave," and he definitely makes a convincing argument against the edits. That said, I think we can all agree that the n-word should be removed from The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County. Totally inappropriate.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

Tags: Constitution, Jon Stewart, Larry Wilmore, Racism, Slavery, The Daily Show, Video

Republican Gubernatorial Primary Battle Watch '010: Tennessee's Embarrassment of Candidate Riches

It's really a shame that Tennessee can't have two governors…

You can watch Basil Marceaux.com's full speech-like thing or whatever after the jump.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

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Tags: Basil Marceaux, Islam, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Slavery, Stephen Colbert, Tennessee, The Colbert Report, Video