Latest Posts

  • [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People Speak to Abraham Lincoln Through the Pen of Tea Party Spokesperson

    Earlier this week, we linked to a statement that Tea Party Express spokesperson Mark Williams made in response to NAACP allegations that the Tea Party needs to get rid of the racists that give its movement a bad name, and it kind of made us wonder if "spokesperson" is actually the best job for him. Like, did they maybe not have any open positions in the Department of Hidden Away in a Locked Closet?

    Anyway, turns out our concerns were completely unfounded, as evidenced by this heartfelt open letter to Abraham Lincoln written on behalf of "[National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People" everywhere that Mr. Williams thoughtfully posted to his personal blog yesterday

    By the way, on a completely different note, how do you say "Yikes!" in Racist?

    Dear Mr. Lincoln

    We [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People and we demand that it stop!

    In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week. We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the 'tea party movement'… And the ridiculous idea of "reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government." What kind of world would we have is I  ever  to control and be responsible for my life own? As [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions and if you do not agree than there is not enough Colored in your People, as we labeled Ken Gladney…

    Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever. We had a great gig. Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by someone else. Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we say that belong.

    I think that settles that. There is clearly not an embarrassing amount of racism present in the Tea Party movement. If there were, how could Mr. Williams so understand the way that [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People think and talk so well?

    No official word yet from America's [National Association for the Advancement of] Colored People, but I'm quite sure they're all quite thankful to Mr. Williams for speaking so eloquently on their behalf.

    (via Pensito Review)

    Tags: 14th Amendment, Abraham Lincoln, Constitution, Mark Williams, NAACP, Racism, Slavery, Tea Party, Tea Party Express
  • We're All Barack Obama's Slaves, According to Fevered Brain of Michele Bachmann

    If they ever decide to give away a Nobel Prize for telling a room full of people that Barack Obama is turning our country into a nation of slaves, then Michele Bachmann should probably be the first person honored…

    In a room of 600 conservative voters brought together by former Colorado Senate president John Andrews’ Centennial Institute, along with Liberty on the Rocks and Colorado Christian University, Bachmann brought the crowd to its feet more than once as she called for an end to the progressive agenda she said has taken over Washington.

    "'We are determined to live free or not at all. And we are resolved that posterity shall never reproach us with having brought slaves into the world,'" Bachmann read from founding father John Jay , ending her reading with the statement, "We will talk a little bit about what has transpired in the last 18 months and would we count what has transpired into turning our country into a nation of slaves."

    Oh, I hope that prize comes with a huge monetary component, so that Bachmann can afford to buy a rocket ship that can fly her into the sun.

    (via Talking Points Memo)

    Tags: Barack Obama, House of Representatives, Michele Bachmann, Slavery
  • Hawaii's Governor Kills Civil Union Bill Because an Important Decision Like That Should Not Be Made by a Small Number of People

    Hawaii's Gov. Linda Lingle — who had until yesterday to decide whether or not to sign a bill which would have legalized same-sex civil unions — has decided not to decide

    "There has not been a bill I have contemplated more or an issue I have thought more deeply about during my eight years as governor than House Bill 444 and the institution of marriage," Lingle said at a news conference. "I have been open and consistent in my opposition to same-sex marriage, and find that House Bill 444 is essentially same-sex marriage by another name."…

    She said voters, not politicians, should decide the fate of civil unions. "It would be a mistake to allow a decision of this magnitude to be made by one individual or a small group of elected officials," she said.

    Fair enough? How about a group of people elected by the state populace for the express purpose of deciding which laws are to put in place and which are not? No, not that either?

    Yeah, I guess it would be unfair to rob the state's voting population of the chance to chose en masse to grant equal rights to a small and historically-subjugated minority. I mean, that's how the country decided to end slavery and give women the right to vote, right? It still brings a tear to my eye when I remember how the citizens of my country all decided to make those choices by themselves without any legislative mandates whatsoever.

    Tags: Civil Rights, Constitution, Hawaii, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Men and Women, Slavery
  • South Carolina Republicans Enter the Late 20th Century

    It's no secret that South Carolina has a proud, proud history of racism and bigotry. Why, some folks might even say that it's in South Carolina where the babbling brook of racism and bigotry that runs through the history of this great nation pours itself into the reservoir of conservatism from which so many of our citizens drink.

    After all, it was at the righteous insistence of Edward Rutledge — South Carolina's delegate to the Continental Congress — that anti-slavery verbiage was removed from the Declaration of Independence. And South Carolina was the first state to bravely secede from the Union in 1860 rather than face (among other concerns) its growing abolitionist sentiment, and a few months later began patriotically shelling the U.S. military base Fort Sumter which marked the beginning of the War of Northern Aggression. The Confederate Flag — borne of that same tireless struggle to maintain the right to own human beings — flapped majestically in the wind above South Carolina's state house from 1962 until 2000, when it was triumphantly relocated to a Confederate soldier's monument.

    Let us also not forget the diligent efforts of the state legislators who held off until 1969 — nearly a half-century after it went into effect nationally — the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution that gave women the same right to vote as regular people get.

    And just look at the state's GOP — the spiritual descendants of the Dixiecrats who once reigned supreme in The Palmetto State — now…

    South Carolina Republicans made state Rep. Nikki Haley their first female gubernatorial nominee, handing her an easy victory in her primary runoff against U.S. Rep. Gresham Barrett — 65 percent to 35 percent… [Haley] is Indian-American and was raised Sikh, but became a Methodist at age 24…

    Haley will be considered the favorite in the general election against state Sen. Vincent Sheheen, the Democratic gubernatorial nominee. Haley would become the Palmetto state's first woman governor if elected in November…

    Tim Scott kept alive his hopes of becoming the first black Republican to win election to Congress from South Carolina in a century. He defeated Paul Thurmond, the son of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond, 68 percent to 32 percent in a GOP House primary runoff.

    A female, former Sikh, brown version of Indian? Strom Thurmond's son losing to a black guy? What the hell is going on down there? When did South Carolina lose touch with its immoral center?

    I'll tell you, somewhere up in Racist Heaven, there's a lot of guys in white suits spitting mint juleps all over each other right now.

    Tags: Civil War, Founding Fathers, House of Representatives, Men and Women, Nikki Haley, Racism, Republicans, Slavery, Strom Thurmond, Tim Scott, Women's Rights
  • Quote Unquote: Universal Health Care Violates the 13th Amendment

    Rand Paul — Republican senatorial candidate from Kentucky and ophthalmologist — exercised some flawless logic while discussing health care while speaking at a town hall meeting last year. Go ahead, look for a flaw. I guarantee that you will not find a flaw

    "[I]f you think you have the right to health care, you are saying basically that I am your slave. I provide health care… My staff and technicians provide it… If you have a right to health care, then you have a right to their labor."

    Okay, okay, okay. Granted, the word "slave" might be a tiny little bit of an over statement. Let's just call doctors under a universal health care system "indentured servants." Just so that nobody accuses us of hyperbole, okay?

    By the way, this quote was dug up by a Louisville reporter who has put together a compendium of other interesting takes on the world from the mind and mouth of Rand Paul.

    Tags: Health Care, Kentucky, Rand Paul, Senate, Slavery, Tea Party