At Least Barack Obama's Stop Offline Piracy Act Is Working

Last night as Barack Obama stepped into the House chambers to deliver the State of the Union, he pointed to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta standing in the crowd and said, "Leon, good job tonight, good job tonight."

What could the president have possibly meant by this bit of coded Saul Alinskyite communication?

U.S. special forces swooped into Somalia on Wednesday and rescued an American and a Dane after a shootout with pirates holding them hostage, in a rare raid into the Horn of Africa nation to free foreign captives. The aid workers, American Jessica Buchanan and Dane Poul Hagen Thisted, were kidnapped from the town of Galkayo in the semi-autonomous Galmudug region in October while working for the Danish De-mining Group (DDG).

"This is yet another message to the world that the United States of America will stand strongly against any threats to our people," U.S. President Barack Obama said in a statement.

Man, why does the president keep apologizing for America? If we keep on apologizing at this rate, we're going to need to open more munitions plants, instead of the tire factories that we were promised last night.

There's also an important lesson here for foreign travelers. When going to a dangerous region, do yourself a favor and bring along an American. Preferably, a white, photogenic, female American, but almost anyone with a U.S. passport will do in a pinch. If you get in trouble, Navy SEALs will come and apologize for your ass the way they have for 50 years — with helicopters and assault rifles.

Photo by John Moore/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Leon Panetta, Pirates, Somalia

Tworld News: Week of November 29, 2010

Twitter news; all the news that fits in your stomach after engorging yourself last week.

Elbowing Obama in the face; dirty basketball or clean terrorism?

Finally, an excuse to have 'pope condoms' in your Google search history.

Read More »

Tags: Barack Obama, Basketball, Catholic Church, Education, North Korea, Pope Benedict XVI, Religion, Sarah Palin, Sex, Somalia, Sports, Terrorism, Tworld News, WikiLeaks

Barack Obama Enters into Diplomatic Negotiations with Somalia

It's bad enough that President Obama is willing to sit down and talk with hostile nations like Iran, but this is simply going too far…

Why doesn't he just hand over all our national booty now and get it over with?

Tags: Barack Obama, Pirates, Somalia

Tired of Letting Socialism Ruin Your Summer Fun?

This summer, why not take your vacation back from Big Government by visiting Somalia, where the beaches are fully deregulated, the police are maintained by rational self-interest, and the libertarianism is always ripe and succulent…

(via Slog)

Tags: Libertarian, Socialism, Somalia

Rush Limbaugh's Obviously Geniune Tears for the Heartlessly-Murdered Somali Pirates

And Rush Limbaugh's heart grew three sizes that day…

You know what we have learned about the Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers that were wiped out at the order of Barack Obama, you know what we learned about them?  They were teenagers. The Somali pirates, the merchant marine organizers who took a US merchant captain hostage for five days were inexperienced youths, the defense secretary, Roberts Gates, said yesterday, adding that the hijackers were between 17 and 19 years old…

They were kids. The story is out, I don't know if it's true or not, but apparently the hijackers, these kids, the merchant marine organizers, Muslim kids, were upset, they wanted to just give the captain back and head home because they were running out of food, they were running out of fuel, they were surrounded by all these US Navy ships, big ships, and they just wanted out of there. That's the story, but then when one of them put a gun to the back of the captain, Mr. Phillips, then bam, bam, bam. There you have it, and three teenagers shot on the high seas at the order of President Obama.

Are even Limbaugh's most super-est fans sufficiently-brainwashed and willfully-naive enough to fail to see that this is anything but abject desperation?

I'm pretty sure that even Rush Limbaugh is satirizing Rush Limbaugh now.

Tags: Barack Obama, Pirates, Rush Limbaugh, Somalia