Tweet Untweet: Nud'gent Chained

Congress should OK Nugent's visit to SoTU under the condition Jamie Foxx sits beside him while dressed in full D'Jango attire.

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) February 11, 2013

Tags: State of the Union, Ted Nugent, Tweet Untweet, Twitter

Barack Obama Will Open for Marco Rubio

Tomorrow night's is the State of the Union address, and we're in for a treat. Not only will we hear President Obama decide whether the state of our union "will emerge stronger" (2009), "is strong" (2010, 2011) or merely "getting stronger" (2012), we'll also hear from the night's headline performer, the #1 savior of the Republican party, Sen. Marco "Jesus" Rubio (R-FL).

Here's what to look for in both addresses:

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Barack Obama's speech is expected to focus on jobs–a sharp pivot, considering the president spent millions of dollars to keep Mitt Romney from getting one.

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Rubio will pre-record a Spanish language version of his speech.  It's all part of a GOP outreach effort to offend immigrants in their native tongues.

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Last year, the president became our nation's dad by telling an unfunny joke about spilled milk. This year, he'll tell us to do our homework and find a job. Everyone will miss the days when he was trying to be the "cool dad."

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Rubio is highly regarded by some analysts because, "He's everything we need and more. He's modern. He knows who Tupac is. He is on social media." Unlike previous State of the Union rebuttalists like Gov. Bobby "Kenneth the page" Jindal (R-LA) and Gov. Mitch "H&R Block Accountant" Daniels (R-IN), Rubio may spice up his response with some contemporary pop culture. As long as you're a contemporary of that guy whispering in his ear.

^{Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images}

Finally, we'll hear a Tea Party response from Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), who will follow in the footsteps of Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain by making us wonder whether God is really blessing America.

Follow @indecision for all the SOTU livetweeting you can handle, starting tomorrow at 8:30pm ET.

Top photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Marco Rubio, State of the Union

Stephen Colbert on the State of the Union and the GOP Response

If Obama really wanted to sell his "spilled milk" joke, he would've broken down and cried for a good three or four minutes. Instead, he pulled out of that bit so fast, I almost mistook it for Baghdad.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Barack Obama, Herman Cain, State of the Union, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video

The Daily Show on the State of the Union

The Best F#@king New Team Ever offers the best f#@king analysis ever of the President's SOTU address, its responses and all the reasons that we're going to die.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Al Madrigal, Barack Obama, Chuck Schumer, Indiana, Iran, Jon Stewart, Michelle Obama, Mitch Daniels, Mitt Romney, Osama bin Laden, Samantha Bee, State of the Union, Taxes, The Daily Show, Video, Wyatt Cenac

From the Pork Barrel: Newt Moon Rising

* Newt Gingrich promises a U.S. moon base by the end of his second term. Can't decide the funniest part of that sentence.

* Florida Republicans seem to be having trouble deciding between the lesser of two lessers.

* Nancy Pelosi's office says Nancy Pelosi is full of shit. Good! We're all in agreement.

* Barack Obama's SOTU address was written at an 8th grade reading level and appealed to 91 percent of viewers. That right there says everything you need to know about America.

* A lot of people think that Tennessee Tea Party demands to ban truths concerning slavery from school history text books is an overt attempt to whitewash the lives of the Founding Fathers. I disagree. I think they're just trying to get rid of all mention of black people.

* A new study disproves the common belief that people get more conservative as they age. On the contrary, I just think society gets more liberal as people get smarter.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Education, Florida, Founding Fathers, Mitt Romney, Nancy Pelosi, Newt Gingrich, Pork Barrel, Primaries, Racism, Republicans, Senior Citizens, Slavery, State of the Union, Tea Party, Tennessee