Earlier this week, it was reported that an "informal Romney adviser" — who I presume is a khaki-wearing campaign strategist — believed it was unlikely that Mitt Romney would select a female running mate because, "unfortunately, [Sarah] Palin poisoned the well on that."
There's a slight problem with this line of thought. John Edwards is most likely a gentleman grifter now, trolling the Carolina countryside, conning elderly ladies out of their Social Security checks. No one would be surprised if Dick Cheney literally poisoned wells. Joe Lieberman is still Joe Lieberman. But none of them have disqualified men from being terrible vice presidential candidates/vice presidents in the future.
Plus, there are women Republicans willing to do anything to get on Romney's good side. Take South Carolina governor Nikki Haley, who in 2007 co-sponsored a bill that would have made HPV vaccination mandatory for girls entering seventh grade. Having called that co-sponsorship a "mistake," Haley has now decided that she will be pro-HPV…
Gov. Nikki Haley has vetoed a bill that could have allowed seventh-grade students to get a free vaccination against a sexually transmitted virus that can cause cancer in women…
Haley said the bill was unnecessary because its language would merely allow, not require, the S.C. Department of Health and Environmental Control to implement a voluntary vaccination and education program on human papillomavirus, or HPV.
And the measure by Rep. Bakari Sellers, D-Bamberg, is a precursor to “another taxpayer funded healthcare mandate,” the governor said in her veto message.
It's not like South Carolina has a problem with injecting things, having attained the 7th highest per-capita execution rate in the country, but this is the kind of flip-flopping and convoluted reasoning it takes to get on Romney's short list.
Unfortunately, what's good news for Haley is bad news for Newt Gingrich. After his strong showing in the South Carolina primary, I was sure his next wife would come from the Palmetto State. Now Haley has thrown a
wrenchbit of cervical cancer into those plans.
Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Health, Health Care, Nikki Haley, Sarah Palin, South Carolina, Veepstakes
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Tags: Nikki Haley, South Carolina, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video
Scott Ready dotted his I's and crossed his T's and marked himself "elected" instead of "candidate" on his filing form ahead of the May 8 city council election in Hardeeville, SC. Maybe he thought it's just a matter of checking a box to win a race, but as it turns out there's that whole election process that gets in the way.
Ready was kicked off the ballot for his error, even though he says he responded in time to correct the mistake. Now, instead of throwing in the towel, he's undertaking a write-in campaign, putting his fate into the hands of the spell-check dependent public. Luckily, Scott Ready is a name most people can handle. Our sympathies to the write-in campaigns for Janet February, Wilford Their and Deborah Colonel.
Still, Ready could probably use some help with name recognition, so, free of charge, we're offering copy for his first media blitz: "Ladies and gentlemen, SCOTT your engines and let’s get READY to rumble." Or maybe: "READY or SCOTT, here I come." Or this soon-to-be-classic: "Go SCOTT yourself, Sheila, this marriage took two to fall apart. Aren't you READY to be happy again? I'm moving in with the babysitter."
But there's more than a mere write-in campaign brewing down in Hardeeville (population 2,952): Ready is also calling for an investigation into the Hardeeville Election Commission, which just so happens to be chaired by the mother-in-law of his opponent. Talk about small-town intrigue! Then again, aren't all mothers-in-law the same, what with their constant nagging for pictures of their grandchildren, or grandchildren to have pictures of, and potential election violations?
Photo by Peter Dazeley/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images
Previously: Donald Daoust, "Coxsackie! Coxsackie! Coxsa…"
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Daoust a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: One of a Kind Candidates, South Carolina
Although South Carolina Lieutenant Governor Ken Ard resigned in disgrace last week due to ethics violations, it looks like his replacement will be just as embarrassing for the Palmetto State.
Meet Glenn McConnell. You may recognize him from his well-publicized fondness for dressing up like a plantation owner. But, you know, not in a racist way…
The Republican lawmaker is perhaps best known for his unapologetic embrace of the Confederacy, grabbing national headlines in 2010 when he appeared in photos dressed as a confederate general — posing with two people presumably imitating slaves: McConnell is a member Sons of Confederate Veterans, Secession Camp #4, as he proudly lists on his official bio. He also owns a store that sells confederate memorabilia.
Asked in a 1999 interview on ABC's Nightline what he thinks when he sees the Confederate Flag, he replied… "I don't see black and white. I don't see racism." He added that it "hurt[s] our feelings" when people bring up race with the flag.
It's a good thing McConnell doesn't see color. That way, he won't notice the bright shade of red on Gov. Nikki Haley's face whenever she has to explain one of his racially tinged gaffes.
And if he can't see black and white, he definitely won't be able to read the thousands and thousands of letters he'll receive when he throws his next Confederate costume gala.
Tags: Civil War, Nikki Haley, Racism, Republicans, Slavery, South Carolina
Turns out, there's a downside to operating under open primary rules. On the one hand, allowing all registered voters to participate in the candidate nominating process may expand your candidates' electability in the general election. On the other hand, such a primary might attract Democrats, chronic masturbators and other misfits.
Luckily, the Laurens County Republican Party of South Carolina has a solution: Demand that all candidates sign a purity oath certifying their fealty to "28 principles of Republicanism…"
You must oppose abortion, in any circumstances.
You must uphold the right to have guns, all kinds of guns.
You must endorse the idea of a balanced state and federal budget, whatever it takes, even if your primary responsibility is to be sure the county budget is balanced.
You must favor, and live up to, abstinence before marriage.
You must be faithful to your spouse. Your spouse cannot be a person of the same gender, and you are not allowed to favor any government action that would allow for civil unions of people of the same sex.
You cannot now, from the moment you sign this pledge, look at pornography.
Fortunately for Newt Gingrich and a former South Carolina governor who spent some time hiking the Argentinian happy trail, the State GOP declared the oath illegal and unenforceable, but that won't prevent Laurens County Republicans from encouraging candidates to sign the pledge.
As for Democrats, they won't be laughing when their last elected official is beaten in a landslide by Cleetus, the eunuch.
Photo by Joe Sohm/Photodisc/Getty Images
Tags: Porn, Primaries, Republicans, Sex, South Carolina