OMG! That delighted, high-pitched, government-mandated collective squee you heard yesterday was the sound of every North Korean girl forcibly expressing "joy." The generous government in Pyongyang released the first-ever public photograph of Kim Jong-Un, the twenty-something understudy for the role of Evil Dictator currently filled by his dad, Kim Jong-Il. And he bears a remarkable resemblance to one Eric Cartman!
But let's look behind the young heartbreaker's facade and find out more about Kim Jong-Un, the purported future leader of the world's most diplomatically isolated country. Take it away, New York Times…
Earlier this week, at a landmark meeting of the Workers’ Party in Pyongyang, the younger Mr. Kim, who is believed to be 27 or 28, was given the rank of four-star general in the People’s Army and was named a deputy chairman of the party’s military commission. He also became a member of the Central Committee of the party, an ideological and policy-making post.
On Thursday, North Korean state media released a picture of Kim Jong-un, news agencies reported. Very little is known about the heir apparent, and few pictures of him have been seen publicly, both in Korea and in the outside world.
Oh, well that clears things up. Let's fill in the blanks. Based on the official photograph, we can assume that young Kim Jong-un finds official photography sessions to be rather dull, or at least not joyful. We can also rest assured that while thousands of other North Koreans (particularly children) may be dying each month from starvation, Kim Jr. has access to all the Cheesy Poofs he can handle. Om nom nom, Kim Jong-un!
Tags: Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, South Park
Hundreds of thousands of hundreds of years from now, when future civilizations unearth the ruins of what once was the great and mighty United States of America, what will they view as being more historically significant: South Park or the office of the President?
It's hard to say. One is a collection of crass, immature, scatological jokes and the other is a cartoon…
Barack Obama & John McCain
More videos after the jump.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Al Gore, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, John Kennedy, John McCain, Richard Nixon, Sarah Palin, South Park, Ted Kennedy, Thomas Jefferson, Video
The top three single most important presidential duties are securing our borders, making sure no water gets on the vice president, and providing fodder for satirical cartoon shows. If you only take those three things into account, George W. Bush was our greatest president ever (fun fact: from 2001-2008 no illegal immigrants took anyone's job, Dick Cheney never touched water and satirical cartoon show parodies sky-rocketed). Since it's first season, South Park has been helping our presidents by supplying a steady demand of presidential moments. Here are South Park's most Presidenty moments.
Click on the jump to continue watching our round-up.
Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, South Park, Video
Yesterday, news broke that members of the evil mercenary group formerly known as "Blackwater" have not only been stealing guns from Afghan police and selling them to Afghan drug dealers (because did we even expect anything otherwise?), but also blaming it on South Park character Eric Cartman.
Well, The Huffington Post's Alex Leo got a chance to talk to Eric Cartman's parents — Trey Parker and Matt Stone — and find out what they think of all this hubbub…
"It makes perfect sense. It's the name I would use," Trey Parker said. "Our first reaction to any story is 'How do we put this into the show?' and the second reaction is 'Did Cartman do that?' because he's so real to us it's like 'I bet Cartman did that.'"
"I saw that and thought, 'Wow, Cartman did that? That's pretty cool. Sounds like something he would do,'" Matt Stone agreed.
And, while we're already kind of sorta not really on the subject, can they please let us know once and for all if they're liberals or conservatives, because I can never figure out if I'm supposed to be laughing or shaking my fist and then writing angry prose poetry in my journal…
When I asked them which group they've pissed of the most over the years, they both said "liberals." "Liberal people got mad at us for 'Team America' — that's the most I've felt it. [The movie] came out right before the Bush/Kerry election and I think we fucked up. I don't think we should've timed it that way," Matt explained. "Because it came out right before the election, liberals were waiting for it as this big anti-Bush statement, and there's plenty of stuff in there that is anti-Bush, but we never would've spent three years of our lives making a movie just to make a statement two weeks before the election. Some people felt like it was a big betrayal."…
Both men were adamant that the show has no political affiliation. "I would never want the show to be a Democrat show or Republican show, because for us the show's more important than that. It isn't for everybody else in the world, but it is for us. We don't want you to come to it thinking, 'These guys are going to bash liberals,'" Matt explained…
"Ripping on Republicans is not that fun for us only because everyone else does it," Matt explained. "It's so much more fun for us to rip on liberals only because nobody else does it, and not because we think liberals are worse than Republicans but, just because…"
"…it's like fresh snow. I mean how're you gonna rip on Sarah Palin in a new way?" Trey pointed out.
"In a new way"? Why would any of us want to rip on Sarah Palin in a new way? I already spent a long afternoon writing my Sarah Palin jokes over a year ago. I'm not about to go and start over from scratch now.
Watch the season premiere of South Park on Wednesday, March 17 at 10pm / 9c.
Tags: Afghanistan, Blackwater, Conservatives, Drugs, Guns, Liberals, Matt Stone, Movies, Sarah Palin, South Park, Trey Parker
Ugh, Blackwater! It's like an endless pit of depressing news. The U.S. never should have given them so much authoritah…
Employees of the CIA-connected private security corporation Blackwater diverted hundreds of weapons, including more than 500 AK-47 assault rifles, from a U.S. weapons bunker in Afghanistan intended to equip Afghan policemen, according to an investigation by the Senate Armed Services Committee. On at least one occasion, an individual claiming to work for the company evidently signed for a weapons shipment using the name of a "South Park" cartoon character…
On one of those occasions, in September 2008, Chief Warrant Officer Greg Sailer, who worked at 22 Bunkers and is a friend of a Blackwater officer working in Afghanistan, signed over more than 200 AK-47s to an individual identified as "Eric Cartman" or possibly "Carjman" from Blackwater's Counter Narcotics Training Unit.
A Blackwater lawyer told committee staff that no one by those names has ever been employed by the company.
As of press time, Blackwater CEO Big Gay Al could not be reached for comment.
Tags: Afghanistan, Blackwater, Corruption, Guns, Military, Scandalgate, Senate, South Park