By now, you've probably heard that Germany's controversial cephalopoid goalkeeper let a crucial Spanish goal through, and ruined the Fatherland's dream of ruining La Madre Patria's dream of finally going to the World Cup finals finally for once.
So, on Sunday, we'll get to see Spain go up against the Nertherlands for all of la canicas, which is Spanish for "the marbles." (I could have said, "de knikkers," but I don't speak Dutch so goed.)
Finally, Spain will have satisfaction for that whole Eighty Years War thing. And this should only feel about half as long.
Tags: Animals, Germany, Netherlands, Soccer, Spain, Sports
Just as I predicted last week, European teams swept the World Cup quarterfinals, beating the South American team in every match in which they played. The Uruguayans were lucky enough to squeak into the semifinals by playing Ghana instead of a team from Europe, but the Dutch quickly dispatched them 3-2 earlier today. So, now it's all Europe, all the way, which is very exciting for nobody except Europeans.
So, tomorrow, Germany will be playing Spain, and based upon the fact that a European team has not lost a match in more than a week, I'm predicting that both teams will win and advance to the finals, and FIFA will real quick devise a cube-shaped playing field so that the Netherlands, Spain and Germany can all play simultaneously in the finals on Sunday.
Failing that, I'm predicting Germany, because they're slightly more Europeany. (You know what I mean.)
Tags: Europe, Germany, Netherlands, Soccer, Spain, Sports, Uruguay
And, thus, tomorrow begins the World Cup quarterfinals, otherwise known as South America vs. The World…
Brazil v. Netherlands
Uruguay v. Ghana
Argentina v. Germany
Paraguay v. Spain
These games begin tomorrow, and by the end of the day Saturday, the World Cup will effectively be The South-Western Hemisphere Cup, and then the entire Eastern Hemisphere can rejoin us in having better things to think about.
Or, maybe I spoke too soon. It appears as though there actually are some people here in the North-Western Hemisphere who are still paying attention to this. Last night, The Daily Show — in the absence of any real news — dedicated its entire episode to this Cup of the World thing. Here's Jon Hodgman explains how FIFA can make Non-American Football more appealing to Non-Non-Americans…
The CC Insider has the complete episode in its complete completesity right over GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: Argentina, Brazil, Germany, Ghana, John Hodgman, Jon Stewart, Netherlands, Paraguay, Soccer, Spain, Sports, The Daily Show, Uruguay
News from Spain…
Spain has taken the first step towards banning crucifixes in schools in the wake of a European Court of Human Rights judgment against Italy which has annoyed Catholics in particular.
I totally agree with this. It is not a teacher's place to crucify children.
If parents want their children executed, they can nail them up and asphyxiate them to death in the privacy of their own homes.
Tags: Religion, Spain
* Is that the correct spelling? I always thought it was spelled "Amuricah."
* The good news is that it is no longer illegal to whistle at the King of Spain. The bad news is that now there's absolutely no reason to whistle at the King of Spain.
* New poll finds Jon Stewart to be America's most trust journalist, Alaska to really hate Katie Couric.
* New scientific report shows the American species seemingly heading toward extinction.
Tags: Alaska, Jon Stewart, Katie Couric, Pork Barrel, Science & Technology, Spain