Latest Posts
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New Head of CENTCOM Gen. James Mattis Loves His Job, Which Is Killing People
Sara Benincasa vlog-troduces us to the man who will likely replace Gen David Petraeus as the newest head of U.S. Central Command, 4-star General James N. Mattis…
Tags: Afghanistan, David Petraeus, James Mattis, Military, Stanley McChrystal -
Lara Logan's Guide to Being a Good Journalist
Lara Logan is a human vuvuzela.Oh, don’t you remember Lara Logan, the South African-bred CBS News reporter/self-appointed U.S. Army spokesBarbie who got herself knocked the fuck up by some random married military contractor? And don’t you remember Michael Hastings, the Jann Wenner indentured servant who broke the story on Stanley McChrystal talking shit on Your American President? Turns out Lara totally thinks Michael is the worst for reporting stuff that reflects badly on the military. This is because she is a really and truly distinguished journalist and not just another mainstream media reporter in the tank for the military.
Lara got all pissy because Michael reported some stuff Stanley and his boyfriends said because, ewww, it made the military look bad. Part of her evidence for why her opinion is fact is that she has hung around them and they have not told her secrets, ever, which cannot possibly mean that this is because they regard her as some combination of a Bobblehead and blow-up doll. Lara Logan has never heard of chauvinistic military culture. Also, no one has told her that she is dumb.
Apparently, Lara Logan learned in advanced elementary J-school that journalists are only supposed to report stuff that people in power will think is awesome. This is how you make friends and also become a famous person on television news.
And she is correct, of course, because the only way to ethically participate in the American military as a journalist is to make super-besties with the military and, obviously, the civilians who work for the military. And then to have their children, out of your womb. That is how God intended love and journalism to work. Duhhhhhhhhhh.
What does Lara Logan’s personal life have to do with her opinion on Michael Hastings? Probably nothing, except that she’s spent the better part of the past few years ethically and journalistically fucking a dude who works for the very military she claims to be able to cover in a balanced fashion. This raises the question: Why did Michael Hastings not fuck General Stanley McChrystal? Let's hope that Lara Logan gets to the bottom of this, preferably in another very special 60 Minutes piece in which she blithely pimps military propaganda and has shiny hair. Then Andy Rooney can masturbate, live, on-camera. Imagine those eyebrows furrowed in lustful concentration. Now try to eat lunch. You’re welcome.
Video of Lara Logan screeding live for CNN's cameras after the jump.
Tags: 60 Minutes, Afghanistan, CNN, Lara Logan, Military, Stanley McChrystal -
Colbert Interviews Rolling Stone Reporter Michael Hastings
On last night's Colbert Report, Stephen spoke with Michael Hastings, the reporter from Rolling Stone who single-handedly took down General Stanley McChrystal. I have to be honest, I haven't read the article, because I get all my music news from Pitchfork. They had an explosive article about a General last week too, but you've never heard of him.
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, David Petraeus, Rolling Stone, Stanley McChrystal, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video -
Colbert on the Afghan War's Big Comeback
As Stephen Colbert pointed out on last night's Colbert Report, the Afghan War is back! Following the removal of General Stanley McChrystal, the nine-year-old conflict is so hot right now. It's like Ke$ha, but with a lower body count.
Jon Stewart's take can be found below.
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, David Petraeus, Stanley McChrystal, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Video -
Top Conservative on Twitter Has Top-Notch Question on McChrystal
From the always entertaining Top Conservatives on Twitter hash tag…
Hmmm… Mr. Beaver poses an excellent question.
He certainly has more time to plan acts of mass treason. But, you know, I'll bet his contract had a non-coup clause in it. You know how lawyers are these days.
(via Little Green Footballs)
Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Military, Stanley McChrystal, Twitter
