Petitioners Demand Ron Paul Meeting, Death Star Construction

It's been a while since we checked in on the civic-minded Americans who have flooded the White House "We the People" website with petitions to "punch Grover Norquist in the dick" or demand secession for the states in the wake of Barack Obama's re-election. The demand for a redress of grievances has not abated. Here are some of the best–not smartest, not most sensical, just best–recent petitions.

Read More »

Tags: Food, Ron Paul, Star Wars, Video Games, White House

How Barack Obama Saved "Star Wars"

When it became clear that Barack Obama was going to win re-election over Mitt Romney on the promise of raising taxes on the wealthy and upping the capital gains tax rate, he truly achieved something that nobody thought was possible.

He wrested control of the Star Wars franchise away from George Lucas and put it in the hands of younger filmmakers who might actually turn it into something worth watching…

As the law currently stands, the capital gains tax rate will see the largest year-over-year increase in history. Some intelligent investors didn't wait for election results to lock in the low capital gains tax rate.

A good example is Star Wars creator George Lucas, who recently sold his Lucas Films empire to Disney (DIS) for $4.05 billion. Lucas built his empire over many years and is sitting on a very large capital gain. Although Lucas has not publicly stated that tax policies had anything to do with the timing of the sale, there is speculation that it was a large factor.

Now he just needs to have the CIA scrub the films and all records of any reference to midi-chlorians and have Jar Jar Binks sent to the Tatooinean equivalent of Gitmo, and his legacy will be complete.

As a wizened old hunched and hair-thinning mentor would say, "A big fucking deal this is."

Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Corporations, Money, Nerdiness, Star Wars, Taxes

Tweet Roundup: Jingo Fett

Here are some of today's best tweets about Day 1 of the RNC:

"Reince Priebus" sounds like one of those Star Wars bounty hunters that had zero lines but still got an action figure.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) August 28, 2012

Cops in Tampa are on the lookout for suspicious behavior at the GOP Convention, like knowing how vaginas work.

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 28, 2012

Read More »

Tags: Republican National Convention, Star Wars, Twitter, Women's Rights

The Secret Identities of U.S. Presidents

In honor of the newly-released biopic Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, MTV's Power of 12 political blog compiled a list of some of our country's greatest presidents' secret identities, including George Washington, Martin Van Buren and…

Mitt [Romney] has a lot in common with the patriotic superhero. First off, it's not often politicians are this physically fit. His references to "America’s superpowers" is also something one would expect from the Cap'n.

Romney recently announced that, if elected, he would allot 25 billion federal dollars to kindergarten through 12th graders, allowing them to attend any school of their choosing. You could say he's making each student the captain of his or her own education!

Granted, Mitt Romney is not technically a U.S. President. Not today at any rate. And possibly not next year, either. But, if you saw Captain America: The First Avenger movie, you know that the character ends up riding this big loud expensive thing that crashes spectacularly sending him into a 70-year catatonic stasis before he's ultimately re-awakened and asked to help save the country. So, take that as you will.

And what secret identity do you suspect our nation's geekiest Commander-in-Chief would harbor?

Obama hasn't done a very good job keeping his Jedi status on the DL. From wielding a light saber in public to his unusually quick reflexes (remember the fly swat?), we’re pretty sure his "Hawaiian upbringing" is just a cover up for his time spent at the Jedi Academy.

That's a good guess. Though, personally, I'd have gone with President Who. I'm relatively certain I saw him stepping out of a Tardis before one of those Rose Garden addresses.

Tags: Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Movies, MTV, Nerdiness, Power of 12, Star Wars

Tweet Untweet: Mitt Romney Loves Jar Jar Banks

"Ha ha ha! Terrific!" – Mitt Romney, every time Jar Jar Binks appears on screen

— rob delaney (@robdelaney) June 5, 2012

Tags: Mitt Romney, Star Wars, Tweet Untweet, Twitter