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Tworld News: Week of August 30, 2010
Comedians on Twitter are the best thing to happen to the news cycle since the sculpting of Anderson Cooper's perfect face…
Hopefully the cost of building a rescue tunnel won't force Chili's to cut their unbeatable $20 dinner-for-two deal.
More Tworld News after the jump…
Tags: Apple, Arizona, Chile, James Jay Lee, Jan Brewer, New Zealand, Oprah Winfrey, Religion, Science & Technology, Stephen Hawking, Tworld News, Weather -
Stephen Hawking's Computer Responds to Claims That He Is Dead
If Stephen Hawking is such a brilliant genius, then how come he doesn't realize that he was murdered by the British government years ago, huh?*Look! Here he is stubbornly pretending to be alive while disputing Investor's Business Daily's indisputable argument that if he were British — which he is — he'd have been allowed to die under the pitiless socialized medicine regime…
"I wouldn't be here today if it were not for the [National Health Service]," he told us. "I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived."
Except, when he said it, it sounded more terrifying and existentially unsettling than is immediately apparent by just reading it.
And, now that I think about it, Stephen Hawking kind of proves IBD's point. Under ObamaCare, we'll all be rolling around in wheel chairs and talking like Isaac Asimov characters.
Is that what you want?
.
* Also, how come he's not smart enough to build himself a full robot body to go with his robot voice? Sounds kind of dumb to me.
Tags: Euthanasia, Health Care, Science & Technology, Stephen Hawking, United Kingdom -
The Queen of England Wants to Assassinate Stephen Hawking
Oh, the evils of socialized medicine! They should just call it "government-mandated murder," because that's clearly what it is.Like, did you know that if British citizen Stephen Hawking were a British citizen — which he is — he'd have been euthanized by the government of Britain where he lives?!
It's totally, totally true! Look, it's written down with words…
People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn't have a chance in the U.K., where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless.
Disgusting! And you know it's gotta be absolutely true, because Investor's Business Daily took the time to hastily punch it out on their keyboards and jam it up on the web. So, it's gotta be a superfact!
For example, I just wrote this word: "2sqhmyztpa."
A truer word has never been written.
Tags: Euthanasia, Health Care, Science & Technology, Stephen Hawking, United Kingdom
