Lewis Black Covers the National Embarrassments of Our Time

Right in the middle of a news cycle in which it seems like the entire country is chanting "Weiner! Weiner! Weiner!" as though they were attempting to summon some sort of juvenile fertility deity, it's a little hard to remember that we have weathered previous country-wide mortification.

But please allow The Daily Show's Lewis Black — who will be co-hosting Comedy Central's live digital feed of the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival's comedy stage on June 12th — to refresh your memory…

Eliot Spitzer

More American shame after the jump…

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

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Tags: Bonnaroo, Corporations, Eliot Spitzer, Enron, House of Representatives, Joe Wilson, Lewis Black, Michael Jackson, Scandalgate, Senate, Strom Thurmond, The Daily Show, Video

South Carolina Republicans Enter the Late 20th Century

It's no secret that South Carolina has a proud, proud history of racism and bigotry. Why, some folks might even say that it's in South Carolina where the babbling brook of racism and bigotry that runs through the history of this great nation pours itself into the reservoir of conservatism from which so many of our citizens drink.

After all, it was at the righteous insistence of Edward Rutledge — South Carolina's delegate to the Continental Congress — that anti-slavery verbiage was removed from the Declaration of Independence. And South Carolina was the first state to bravely secede from the Union in 1860 rather than face (among other concerns) its growing abolitionist sentiment, and a few months later began patriotically shelling the U.S. military base Fort Sumter which marked the beginning of the War of Northern Aggression. The Confederate Flag — borne of that same tireless struggle to maintain the right to own human beings — flapped majestically in the wind above South Carolina's state house from 1962 until 2000, when it was triumphantly relocated to a Confederate soldier's monument.

Let us also not forget the diligent efforts of the state legislators who held off until 1969 — nearly a half-century after it went into effect nationally — the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution that gave women the same right to vote as regular people get.

And just look at the state's GOP — the spiritual descendants of the Dixiecrats who once reigned supreme in The Palmetto State — now…

South Carolina Republicans made state Rep. Nikki Haley their first female gubernatorial nominee, handing her an easy victory in her primary runoff against U.S. Rep. Gresham Barrett — 65 percent to 35 percent… [Haley] is Indian-American and was raised Sikh, but became a Methodist at age 24…

Haley will be considered the favorite in the general election against state Sen. Vincent Sheheen, the Democratic gubernatorial nominee. Haley would become the Palmetto state's first woman governor if elected in November…

Tim Scott kept alive his hopes of becoming the first black Republican to win election to Congress from South Carolina in a century. He defeated Paul Thurmond, the son of the late Sen. Strom Thurmond, 68 percent to 32 percent in a GOP House primary runoff.

A female, former Sikh, brown version of Indian? Strom Thurmond's son losing to a black guy? What the hell is going on down there? When did South Carolina lose touch with its immoral center?

I'll tell you, somewhere up in Racist Heaven, there's a lot of guys in white suits spitting mint juleps all over each other right now.

Tags: Civil War, Founding Fathers, House of Representatives, Men and Women, Nikki Haley, Racism, Republicans, Slavery, Strom Thurmond, Tim Scott, Women's Rights

The Top 27 Political Bastards of All Time (The Real Kind)

Here's a riddle. What's conceived in sin; takes nine months to complete; and makes for some sticky situations upon its unwelcomed arrival? That's right, a completely convoluted Indecision article that lists famous illegitimate political offspring while simultaneously promoting the season premiere of The Sarah Silverman Program, entitled "The Proof Is in the Penis." Oh, except Indecision didn't give me nine months to write this. More like five days. And I guess I didn't really conceive it in sin, although between you and me, my silk boxers do feel pretty sweet beneath my blogging pants.

Now before you go complaining about who I left off, keep in mind that I was looking not only for political progeny born to unmarried parents, but also people who — when organized in list form — would make you, the reader, want to tune in for Sarah Silverman's premiere episode, "The Proof Is in the Penis" this Thursday at 10:30pm / 9:30c. Did I accomplish this? Hey, who's wearing the blogging pants around here. Spoiler alert: Not me as of twenty seconds ago.

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27. John Edwards' daughter Frances Quinn Hunter

When John Edwards burst on the National political scene in 2000, he was like nothing we'd ever seen. The guy just didn't lie like a politician. Unfortunately, he lied a lot like a trial lawyer. And in 2008, we learned that John Edwards could lie like other things too.

For example, like that guy your mom called your "uncle" when your dad was away on business trips. In any event, Edwards' affair with Rielle Hunter came to light in 2008, and while he admitted his wrongdoing, he was also adamant that Ms. Hunter's baby girl was not his. Turns out that was also a lie.

Fast-forward to 2010 and now Edwards has admitted that Frances Quinn is his daughter. This might be the first time a two-year-old's first sentence has been, "No, dude. Seriously. It's O.K."

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Tags: Bristol Palin, Christianity, France, Grover Cleveland, John Edwards, Levi Johnston, Paraguay, Racism, Religion, Rielle Hunter, Sarah Palin, Scandalgate, Senate, Sex, South Africa, South Carolina, Strom Thurmond, Tripp Johnston-Palin

But Who Will Teach the Republican Delegates How to Dance?

Looking out on the RNC delegate assembly, I couldn't help but feel like something was missing.

Hm. Portly beflagged gentleman and elephant hat lady — check.

Politically incorrect symbols of past national disgraces worn defiantly — check

Oh, that's right.

Only 36 of the 2,380 delegates seated on the convention floor are black, the lowest number since the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies began tracking diversity at political conventions 40 years ago. Each night, the overwhelmingly white audience watches a series of white politicians step to the lectern — a visual reminder that no black Republican has served as a governor, U.S. senator or U.S. House member in the past six years.

No black people at the RNC? I guess, to be fair, it's hard to fit being proud of America into your schedule when you're running around all day doing secret Muslim stuff.

"It's hard to look around and not get frustrated," said Michael S. Steele, a black Republican and former lieutenant governor of Maryland. "You almost have to think, 'Wait. How did it come to this?'"

Far be it from me to be flip about the black Republican experience, Governor. But if I had to guess, I'd say it probably had something to do with your white friends' journey from here:

To here:

Tags: Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota, RNC, St. Paul, Strom Thurmond

Denver Determined Not to Let Piss and Shit Spoil Its Convention

The City of Denver is taking all measures to silence the legions of doubters who predict the upcoming Democratic National Convention will be ransacked by piss and shit.

The City Council has passed an ordinance that…

…Prohibits the possession of noxious substances. Two of the most frequently used examples of a noxious substance are a bucket of urine and a "feces bomb."

The Council's feces bombing suspicions focus on an organization called Recreate 68, which takes its name from the riot-strewn 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. The group was front and center during the 1999 WTO riots in Seattle, and now they have Denver in their sights.

But Denver has a double-agent! It seems that City Councilman Doug Linkhart has been corresponding with an unnamed source, who, Linkhart claims…

"…told me that he knew of a house where protestors were accumulating urine."

Now accumulating urine happens to be a time-honored tradition in politics. Sen. Estes Kefauver (D-TN) was a proponent of a bag rigged in his pants, while Strom Thurmond (R-SC) preferred a plain old bucket.

But if either of them want to rise from the grave and try that stunt in Denver… well, they'll spend that night shitting themselves in the county jail!

Tags: Democratic National Convention, Denver, Strom Thurmond