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Super PACs
  • Donald Trump to Form World's Classiest Super PAC

    Donald Trump

    This guy. He's the punchline that keeps on punching

    "My super PAC ads would be focused on how outside places and outside things are absolutely sucking the blood out of this country…" [Trump explained.]

    Outside places and outside things. Interesting. Like jungle gyms?

    Naturally, I kid. Of course Donald Trump — who's taking a break from firing guys like Dennis Rodman and Tom Green from the cast of a reality TV show so he can say political things into microphones — knows what he's talking about. Why else would he ask to be the RNC's keynote speaker? It's not like he's only in it for the press, an egomaniacal child who courts all manner of publicity by offering to do stuff like wag his genitals around.

    Right?

    Bad example. The point is, Trump is the perfect man to lead an anti-Obama super PAC. He's great at spending millions of dollars to besmirch people's names. Look at what he's done to his own.

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    Related: Donald Trump Should Be Vice President, Says Donald Trump

    Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images


    Tags: Donald Trump, Republicans, Super PACs
  • Barack Obama, Our First Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln President

    barack obamaBefore Newsweek proclaimed Barack Obama "The First Gay President," thanks to his support for marriage equality and the parallels between the President's biracial background and the search for belonging common among gays, Obama was also our "first Jewish president" according to New York Magazine and "the first female president" according to the Washington Post's Kathleen Parker.

    All categorically false, according to a Super PAC funded by conservative billionaire Tom Ricketts, founder of TD Ameritrade and occasional suckler of the federal teat on behalf of his Chicago Cubs…

    The $10 million plan, one of several being studied by Mr. Ricketts, includes preparations for how to respond to the charges of race-baiting it envisions if it highlights Mr. Obama's former ties to Mr. Wright, who espouses what is known as "black liberation theology."

    The group suggested hiring as a spokesman an "extremely literate conservative African-American" who can argue that Mr. Obama misled the nation by presenting himself as what the proposal calls a "metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln."

    Unlike a bi-curious Grover Cleveland or a femme Andrew Johnson, a metrosexual black Abe Lincoln is actually an appealing description of a president, which is why Ricketts may be blowing $10 million of his fortune to inform Americans that Obama is not the metrosexual black Abe Lincoln they had expected.

    Instead, like a racist Phoenix rising from the fevered swamps of the right-wing id, "The Defeat of Barack Hussein Obama: The Ricketts Plan to End His Spending for Good" will reprise Obama's relationship with Reverend Jeremiah Wright

    "Our plan is to do exactly what John McCain would not let us do: Show the world how Barack Obama's opinions of America and the world were formed," the proposal says. "And why the influence of that misguided mentor and our president's formative years among left-wing intellectuals has brought our country to its knees."

    With any luck, Ricketts will go forward with a campaign to do "exactly what John McCain would not let us do" just to find out exactly why McCain didn't do it.

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    Related: Birthers Divided on Whether or Not to Get Behind Ridiculous Nonsense

    Photo by Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Jeremiah Wright, John McCain, Super PACs
  • Karl Rove Accuses Barack Obama of Being "Cool"

    Karl Rove's American Crossroads PAC just came out with a new internet ad called "Cool," in which they accuse President Obama of being… well, cool. Should be very effective, I'm sure

    This might not seem so damning on its own, but once AC releases the follow-ups: "Handsome," "Athletically Built" and "Actually Kind of a Nice Guy When You Get to Talking to Him," I'm guessing the campaign will really start eating into the President's poll numbers.

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    Related: Karl Rove Yawns at Osama bin Laden Killing


    Tags: Barack Obama, Karl Rove, Super PACs
  • Sarah PAC Continues Fundraising to Raise Awareness of Sarah PAC

    Look, I know what you're going to say: What's wrong with Sarah Palin raising money through her political action committee so that her political action committee has money to go out and ask for more money for her political action committee? And I agree with you.

    The world needs Sarah Palin's political action committee. Without it, how would we ever remember that Sarah Palin has a political action committee?

    Sarah Palin's political action committee raised $388,000 in the first three months of the year, but it spent $418,000 and didn’t give a dime to any candidates — which is the purported purpose of the PAC.

    So?! Why should Sarah Palin's PAC give any money to those other idiots? It's called Sarah PAC, not Mitt PAC or Newt PAC. Besides, if it gave its money away to those people, it wouldn't have any money left for really important things. Like defending Sarah Palin's honor and asking for more money to defend Sarah Palin's honor…

    Instead, Sarah PAC spent $255,000 on fundraising and a small team of political consultants that Palin has continued to support even as she receded from the political spotlight during the heat of the GOP presidential primary. It also appears to have spent $19,000 on a video rebutting the HBO film Game Change.

    That would, I believe, be this video

    Read More »


    Tags: Money, RNC, Sarah Palin, Super PACs
  • Mitt Romney's Campaign Is Funded by Pink Slime

    As a fabulously rich man, Mitt Romney could bankroll his own presidential campaign. But, like most candidates, he's getting cash funneled to him through Super PACs run by equally fabulously rich men.

    If this all seems a little slimey, it should. Romney's funds are literally coming from slime

    The company at the center of a national controversy over ammonia-treated beef byproducts — known in the media as "pink slime" — is headed by a major donor to Mitt Romney's political action committees.

    Beef Products Inc., which has suspended operations at several plants due to criticism of its products, was founded by Eldon Roth – a prominent Midwestern businessman who has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to pro-Romney groups.

    Roth hosted a fundraiser for Romney in Sioux Falls last fall, according to the Associated Press. And the Washington Post reported last year that Roth and his wife, Regina, cut $190,000 in checks to Romney's network of state-level PACs in 2010.

    Mmm. Ammonia-treated cow trimmings. Just like Mom used to make… and then get cancer from. Nothing says America like a big slab of low-grade texturized beef-like product.

    Knowing Santorum, he'll probably just attack Romney because the slime is pink.

    Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Agriculture, Food, Health, Mitt Romney, Money, Primaries, Republicans, Super PACs