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Super Tuesday
  • Ohio Voters Treated to Homophobic Pro-Santorum Robocall

    Mitt Romney is no longer the most disturbing robot in the GOP race. There's a new robocall going out to Ohio voters with the message that only Rick Santorum can save America from Romney's evil gay policies.

    Here's the text

    "Hi, my name is Brian Camenker; I'm a Jew from Massachusetts. And, this is Darcy Brandon; I'm a Christian from California. If you believe as we do that marriage and sexuality should only be between a man and a woman, please help us stop Mitt Romney.

    "As Governor, Romney signed 'Gay Youth Pride Day' declarations, promoted homosexuality in our elementary schools, and unconstitutionally ordered state officals to make Massachusetts America’s first same-sex marriage state. Romney supports open homosexuality in the military, the appointment of homosexual judges, and the ENDA law, making it illegal to fire a man who wears a dress and high heels to work, even if he’s your kid’s teacher.

    "When you vote tomorrow, please vote for social sanity and Rick Santorum, NOT for homosexuality and Mitt Romney. Rick Santorum is the ONLY candidate who can be trusted to uphold traditional marriage, a straight military, and the rights of American children to have both a mother and a father."

    Remember when Rick Santorum said he was mystified by the persistent belief that he hates gays? Yeah, I don't know where that idea came from either.

    The robocall campaign was spearheaded by Jews and Christians Together, an absurdly homophobic organization whose leader was mocked on The Daily Show. Well, at least there's one thing people of all religions can agree on: No one wants Mitt Romney to be president.

    Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Catholic Church, Christianity, LGBT, Ohio, Religion, Rick Santorum, Super Tuesday
  • A Brief History of Super Tuesday

    June 3, 1976 - The phrase "Super Tuesday" makes its first published appearance in California's Lodi News-Sentinel, which featured words stained onto paper with ink, as was traditional at the time. It would be years before journalism would enter its more civilized hologram-phase.

    1984 – It took not one, not two, but three Super Tuesdays for the Democratic Party to come up with a candidate as strong and stately as Walter Fritz Mondale.

    March 13, 1984 – The first official Super Tuesday is held, featuring contests in nine states and American Samoa. 512 delegates — or 13 percent of all the primary season's delegates — were chosen by the Democratic Party in one day, just barely edging out the number of people who voted for the Democratic candidate in November.

    March 8, 1988 – Southern Democrats attempted a regional Super Tuesday — featuring contests in  Texas, Florida, Tennessee, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Kentucky, Alabama, and Georgia — in the hopes of nominating a candidate that would be amenable to their Southern racist genteel ideals. It was a smashing success and Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis became the eventual nominee.

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    Tags: Democrats, Primaries, Republicans, Super Tuesday
  • Profiling the Personality Types of the Super Tuesday States

    When attempting to predict the outcome of a huge primary day like today, it may be useful to create personality profiles for each of the states voting. Obviously, each of the states in this union has its own unique foibles and singular peccadilloes, and each of those differences will play into the candidate they ultimately chose.

    With that in mind, I — armed with a half-completed semester of Psychology 101 — decided it fitting to profile each of the Super Tuesday states according to the popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, developed by Dr. Carl Jung and used by psychologists and stalkers the world over. I hope you find this enlightening and helpful in your own predictions…

    .

    Vermont
    ISFJ (introversion, sensing, feeling, judgment)

    Quiet, people-oriented and kind-hearted, Vermont tends to put the needs of other above those of itself, which probably goes a long way toward explaining the smell of its citizens. Those people do realize that those crystal deodorant stick-things don't actually work, don't they? And, also, come on, get a real car. Do they still even make parts for VW buses?

     .

    Tennessee
    ISFP (introversion, sensing, feeling, perception)

    Quiet, serious, sensitive and kind. Unless you're not like them, in which case, get out. Seriously, out. That gun on the wall is not for show. Tennessee is not interested in leading others, except maybe to the state line. This state tends to have a "Live and Let Live" attitude, just so long as you do it nowhere near them. Enjoy your life, but way over there.

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    Tags: Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Primaries, Republicans, Science & Technology, Super Tuesday, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia
  • Five Members of the Romney Family Voting for Ron Paul

    Blood is thicker than water but it's not thicker than gold.

    Here is the story of Chad Romney. He's never met his cousin Mitt, which doesn't really bother him because he's more of a Ron Paul kind-of-guy

    In the first Republican caucuses in Idaho's history, Mitt's own cousin plans to rally support for Ron Paul. "It's Ron Paul or bust," Chad Romney said.

    This act of Romney family treason spawned not from some deep-seated dispute.

    "I don't dislike Mitt at all," Chad Romney said. "He seems like a nice guy. He just doesn't understand the constitution like Ron Paul."

    To be fair to Mitt, no one understands the Constitution like Ron Paul. You know how Aquaman speaks to fish? That's how Ron Paul communicates with the Constitution.

    Chad's not the only Romney in the bag for Ron Paul. Paul's base may be small, but it's chock-full of Romney's.

    Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Idaho, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Super Tuesday