Vice Presidents are great for providing balance in an administration. For example, Barack Obama has spent this week successfully reassuring the country that there's no need to panic over swine flu. And just so the message from The White House doesn't appear too one-sided, VP Joe Biden went on TV today and basically told all Americans to hide out alone in the forest and live off their own urine until further notice.
“I would tell members of my family — and I have — I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now,” Biden said on NBC’s “Today” show.. “It’s not that it’s going to Mexico. It’s [that] you’re in a confined aircraft. When one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. …
“So, from my perspective, what it relates to is mitigation. If you’re out in the middle of a field when someone sneezes, that’s one thing. If you’re in a closed aircraft or closed container or closed car or closed classroom, it’s a different thing.”
As one might expect, the idea of crippling the airlines and subways didn't go over very well with Biden's handlers, so a "clarifying" statement was quickly released. I don't know, something about it being opposite day.
So, no need for alarm. As long as we don't fly to Mexico, we can all feel free to resume riding the subway and sneezing in each other's mouths.
Tags: Joe Biden, Politico, Swine Flu, Today Show
By now, you're probably in full panic mode over the swine flu pandemic that has already cost the lives of more than a ten-thousandth of a million people. And I'd be panicking too, if I were you. Fortunately for me, I'm pretty sure the avian flu, SARS, monkey pox, antelope scurvy and shark lice I've contracted in recent years have all combined inside my body to create a swine flu vaccine. Here's The Daily Show and Colbert Report's coverage of the crisis from last night.
Tags: Jason Jones, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Swine Flu, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, Video