Quote Unquote: Who Wants Candy?

John Boehner on the Democrats' wish to cut taxes on the middle class without giving higher-income people a similar break…

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"If ifs and buts were like candy and nuts then every day would be Christmas."

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John Boehner is a moron. That's Halloween.

Tags: Democrats, Economy, Fiscal Cliff, John Boehner, Taxes

Legislator Has Very Good Reason for Breaking Anti-Tax Pledge

Look, if you're going to break the anti-tax pledge that Grover Norquist demands asks all Republicans to sign, you'd better have a damn good reason.

Luckily, Chris Gibson has an excellent one…

A spokeswoman for Rep. Chris Gibson (R-NY) on Thursday offered a peculiar explanation for why the re-elected congressman is abandoning Grover Norquist's anti-tax pledge: his district number changed.

Originally elected in 2010 in New York's 20th Congressional District, Gibson won a second term this year in the state's newly redrawn 19th Congressional District. That, Gibson's spokeswoman Stephanie Valle said in a statement, is sufficient reason to walk back the pledge he signed two years ago.

Also, Saturn was in retrograde when he signed that pledge. Now, Mars is transiting the sign of Capricorn, so no reasonable person should expect him to honor past promises.

Tags: Chris Gibson, Grover Norquist, Republicans, Taxes

How Barack Obama Saved "Star Wars"

When it became clear that Barack Obama was going to win re-election over Mitt Romney on the promise of raising taxes on the wealthy and upping the capital gains tax rate, he truly achieved something that nobody thought was possible.

He wrested control of the Star Wars franchise away from George Lucas and put it in the hands of younger filmmakers who might actually turn it into something worth watching…

As the law currently stands, the capital gains tax rate will see the largest year-over-year increase in history. Some intelligent investors didn't wait for election results to lock in the low capital gains tax rate.

A good example is Star Wars creator George Lucas, who recently sold his Lucas Films empire to Disney (DIS) for $4.05 billion. Lucas built his empire over many years and is sitting on a very large capital gain. Although Lucas has not publicly stated that tax policies had anything to do with the timing of the sale, there is speculation that it was a large factor.

Now he just needs to have the CIA scrub the films and all records of any reference to midi-chlorians and have Jar Jar Binks sent to the Tatooinean equivalent of Gitmo, and his legacy will be complete.

As a wizened old hunched and hair-thinning mentor would say, "A big fucking deal this is."

Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images

Tags: Barack Obama, Corporations, Money, Nerdiness, Star Wars, Taxes

Stephen Colbert Peers Over the Fiscal Cliff

"Some Republicans are abandoning the anti-tax pledge as fast as their abandoning… uh, what's his name? Don't help me, don't help me, don't help me… uh, Ripp Flambé?" – Stephen Colbert

Coverage continues with the National Review's Reihan Salam after the jump.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Read More »

Tags: Barack Obama, Economy, Grover Norquist, House of Representatives, Stephen Colbert, Taxes, The Colbert Report, Video

Tweet Untweet: Saving Your Taxes for Marriage

Grover Norquist's anti-tax pledge is the abstinence-only education of governance.

— Tom Dale (@tomdale) November 20, 2012

Tags: Abstinence, Grover Norquist, Sex, Taxes, Tweet Untweet, Twitter