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Ted Kennedy
  • Tweet Roundup: Zingers and Predictions

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    Tags: Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Ted Kennedy, Tweet Roundup
  • Read an Excerpt from Arlen Specter's New Erotic Novel

    With the glut of political memoirs out there, it's hard for legislators to make their books stand out. When you've led a life of congressional hearings, policy discussions and campaigning, let's face it, your life is kind of boring.

    But there is one sure-fire way to spice of a memoir — sex. Just take a look at these passages from Arlen Specter's new book

    Once, during lengthy waits for massages while we used a temporary gym in the Dirksen Building, I was walking undressed to the last table. Another senator, also naked, walked briskly, perhaps at a slight run, and slipped in ahead of me. That was something that senators just don't do.…

    [Palin] was a total charmer, very friendly. The few things she said were intelligent. We were sitting virtually knee to knee in the cramped bus, and she radiated sensuality. Her skirt rode above her knees — not exactly short, but close…

    [Sen.] John Thune, who looked like a movie star in or out of clothes, was constantly stretching. His lanky body seemed to have some kinks to iron out.

    In those steamy sentences, you can really feel Specter's burning desire to return to an era of civility in the Senate. By the time he left in 2011, all courtesy and collegiality had been completely blown away, like Nancy Pelosi's skimpy sundress on a windy D.C. day.

    Of course, Specter didn't have the hots for all his fellow legislators. He likens the image of Sen. Ted Kennedy getting into a hot tub to "a gigantic walrus… plung[ing] into the sea." Well, Kennedy was supposedly a giant of the Senate.

    Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Arlen Specter, Books, John Thune, Sarah Palin, Senate, Sex, Ted Kennedy
  • Mitt Romney Explains Why You Shouldn't Vote for Mitt Romney

    In his second debate with Ted Kennedy during his Massachusetts senate run, 1994 Mitt Romney gave a clear and convincing explanation for why Republicans should reject 2012 Mitt Romney

    Q: Should the voters of Massachusetts… believe that you would vote to end such filibusters against the wishes of party leaders like Robert Dole, Phil Graham and Newt Gingrich, and should we believe your voting record will be significantly different from the Republican Party line?

    Romney: Depends on the issue, but the answer is yes. I'm not going to Washington to tow the line. That is not what I'm doing. Look, I've given up too much in this race to think I'm going down there to be some party politician for any party. I'm going to Washington because I care very deeply about what's happening to this country. I am very concerned about the direction we're headed in and believe we have to change it. I'm going to go to Washington to try to give everything I can to try and turn us in a different direction. I can't do it alone. I'm going to do it with people on both sides of the aisle. I'm going to do it with the president. I think the president does a lot of things that make a lot of sense. I'll support him in many ways. I hope he gets changed, but I'll still support him while he's there for the next two years. I believe that issues we face are far too important to be faced only from one side of the aisle or the other…

    Well maybe it's not as bad as it looks. Sure, he said he likes Bill Clinton's policies and doesn't consider himself a real Republican, but he… Umm… Has great hair? And a razor-sharp jawline? And sounds like your dad? Yeah, that should be enough.

    To avoid charges of flip-flopping, Romney could go with the whole "evolving views" excuse, but that probably won't cut it. With all of Romney's billions, it's about time he just paid scientists to build a time machine so he can go back and erase these embarrassing moments from history. Then again, the time travel might scramble his circuits.

    I don't think Romneycare covers that.

    Tags: Debates, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Senate, Ted Kennedy
  • Who Killed "The Kennedys" Miniseries?

    The History Channel's miniseries on the Kennedy Family is grassy knoll-onger scheduled to be aired, and it most likely won't be coming back (and to the left)…

    After the jump, President Obama secretly receives classified award for excellence in transparency.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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    Tags: Aasif Mandvi, Barack Obama, History Channel, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, John Kennedy, Jon Stewart, Liberals, Robert Kennedy, Ted Kennedy, Television, The Daily Show, Video
  • A South Park Salute to Presidents, Hopefuls and Wannabes

    Hundreds of thousands of hundreds of years from now, when future civilizations unearth the ruins of what once was the great and mighty United States of America, what will they view as being more historically significant: South Park or the office of the President?

    It's hard to say. One is a collection of crass, immature, scatological jokes and the other is a cartoon…

    Barack Obama & John McCain

    More videos after the jump.

    The second half of South Park's 14th season premieres next Wednesday, October 6 at 10pm / 9c, followed by an all-new Ugly Americans.

    And the Little Box of Butters DVD set — complete with a lost chapter from the literary classic "The Poop that Took a Pee" — is available now.

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    Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Al Gore, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, John Kennedy, John McCain, Richard Nixon, Sarah Palin, South Park, Ted Kennedy, Thomas Jefferson, Video