Ted Nugent Offers Political Analysis as Only Ted Nugent Can

When faced with difficult issues of crippling unemployment, long-term deficits and unabated climate change, America turns to the man whose main contribution to our culture are the lyrics, "A shakin' my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell/Down on the street you know she can't be beat/She's so sweet when she yanks on my meat." So say we all, Nuge, so say we all.

This time, Nugent's opporuntity to enlighten us with his careful political analysis came during interview with the Broward-Palm Beach New Times, when he was asked what rock bands would represent Barack Obama and Mitt Romney…

"Out and out politicians are anathema to rock-n-roll, so I hesitate to attempt to connect the two. But on important issues, I am saddened to admit that Obama represents everything bad about humanity and Romney pretty much all that is good. It is really that stark."

At least the battle between good and evil is one war Nugent won't be dodging.

And he finds himself in good company, joining Romney backers Jenna Jameson, Donald Trump and Kid Rock, all known as Republican values voters, in the sense that their endorsement comes with a value pack of penicillin.

Photo by Randy Snyder/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Our Endorsements: Obama v. Oprah

* Obama vs. Oprah: Lightsaber Duel, from Funny or Die.

* A diagram of Ted Nugent comments.

* Congressman caught towel dancing, from National Lampoon.

* High school students send a rubber chicken into space, which is cool.

Ted Nugent Declares Self "a Black Jew at a Nazi-Klan Rally"

Ted Nugent — rising jester in the Republican court — has responded to Democrats, Secret Service agents, people who understand what words mean and anyone else who thought his remark "If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year," might have carried with it a whiff of violent threat…

"I spoke at the NRA and I will stand by my speech. It was 100 percent positive," Nugent told the Dana Loesch radio show today… "See, I'm a black Jew at a Nazi-Klan rally, and there are some power-abusing corrupt monsters in our federal government that despise me because I have the audacity to speak the truth to identify the violations of our government, particularly Eric Holder and the president and Tim Geithner, ad nauseum," Nugent told Loesch.

"I have never in my life threatened anyone's life. I'm incapable of threatening anyone’s life. Because I'm about positive change, my entire speech, all my articles," he later added.

In response, five-years-ago Ted Nugent said…

"Obama,  you might want to suck [gun] on this, ya punk! Obama, he's a piece of shit. I told him to suck on my machine gun. Hey, Hillary! You might want to ride one of these [gun] into the sunset."

Touché.

Photo by Mick Hutson/Redferns/Getty Images

Quote Unquote: Romney Responds

The Mitt Romney campaign on Ted Nugent's recent Ted Nugentiness…

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"Divisive language is offensive no matter what side of the political aisle it comes from. Mitt Romney believes everyone needs to be civil."

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To be fair, that's about as impassioned as Romney's people are even capable of.

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Related: Secret Service Investigating Ted Nugent Over Nugent-esque Remarks

Secret Service Investigating Ted Nugent Over Nugent-esque Remarks

Yesterday, when I first saw these thinly-veiled threatening comments that Ted Nugent at the recent NRA convention, I was, like, "Oh, Ted Nugent, you're so Ted Nugent-y. Good thing for you that nobody pays you any more mind than they do their uncle about whom their not supposed to talk about outside of family gatherings"…

"If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will be either be dead or in jail by this time next year."

Okay, granted. Publicly promising violent retribution against the head of state is a serious matter. But Ted Nugent is such an unserious person. Can't we just say those two things even themselves and say we're back to naught?

Apparently not…

A spokesman for the Secret Service tells us, "We are aware of it, and we'll conduct an appropriate follow up."

Even so, I doubt that anything is actually going to come of this. Do you really think the the U.S. Secret Service has a genuine concern that Nugent will actually do something of note in this day and age?

Seems to me much more likely that they're just in it for the "Wango Tango."