Super Tuesday Predictions: Place Your Bets Now

Ilya Gerner: I believe the trees will be the right height in Massachusetts, Virginia, Vermont, Alaska, Idaho, North Dakota and even Ohio. Too many slight dogwoods in the other states for Mitt Romney to do well. Also, too many Evangelicals.

Jess Dweck: Mitt Romney will win Massachusetts, Virginia and Vermont, while Rick Santorum will take Tennessee, Oklahoma and any other state that has more people than teeth. Newt Gingrich will be elected Moon President of Georgia.

Dan Poppy: Rick Santorum will win big in Oklahoma, confirming once and for all that Okies have never used Google. Mitt Romney will be genuinely surprised that there are people who like him. Ron Paul will burst into a thousand gold doubloons when a supporter slaps him on the back to congratulate him for winning Alaska. Newt Gingrich will be insufferable.

More predictions after the jump…

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Tags: Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Super Tuesday, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia

Super Tuesday Liveblog: Tue. 3/6, 7pm ET

Join us here and @indecision on Super Tuesday, 3/6 at 7pm ET, as Georgianians, Idahoers, North Dakotacs, Ohioles, Tennesseers, Vermontians, Virginnies, Alaskars and the Red Sox Nation cast their votes in high school gymnasiums and elementary school gymnasiums and other gymnasiums and laundromats (pictured). We'll keep  going until all the results are in or until we fall asleep.

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: Alaska, Georgia, Idaho, Liveblog, Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Super Tuesday, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia

Tennessee One Step Closer to Banning the Word "Gay"

Everyone knows that if you don't say something out loud, it no longer exists. Bills, relationship problems, tumors. They simply disappear if you ignore them long enough. It's, like, Science 101. Duh!

So, it makes total sense that an adult human with a functioning brain would try to stop the spread of evil, evil homosexuality by banning people from talking about gays in schools…

A bill that would ban teaching Tennessee kids about homosexuality before they reach the ninth grade was approved by a state House subcommittee Wednesday, reigniting an emotional debate in the buckle of the Bible Belt…

The bill, authored by Republican lawmaker Stacey Campfield, passed the state Senate last year. Campfield prefers to call it a "Don't Teach Gay" bill, and has said it is necessary because homosexuality is more dangerous than heterosexuality.

Campfield recently incorrectly asserted on a a satellite radio talk show that the HIV epidemic began when a gay airline employee had sex with a monkey. His statements have earned him national attention and the ire of gay rights supporters both nationally and locally: A restaurant in his hometown of Knoxville recently refused to serve him.

This whole Don't Say Gay strategy probably won't work. After all, I've never said "Stacey Campfield" aloud, but unfortunately, he still exists.

Perhaps Mr. Campfield is just sensitive about being called gay after growing up with the first name Stacey. So remember, if you ever run into him in the Tennessee General Assembly, don't say "gay." Just say "repressed."

Tags: Education, Homophobia, Marriage Equality, State Legislature, Tennessee

Stephen Colbert on Tea Party Demands to Rewrite History

History, they say, is written by the winners. But then, however, it's rewritten by a bunch of dudes in discount tricorne hats and colonial soldier costumes.

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

Tags: Benjamin Franklin, Education, Founding Fathers, George Washington, Native American, Slavery, Stephen Colbert, Tea Party, Tennessee, The Colbert Report, Thomas Jefferson, Video

Thrilling Footage of Rand Paul's Harrowing Airport Ordeal

Well, this is pretty interesting. Some video of Sen. Rand Paul being detained at Nashville International Airport was just released, and I'm relatively certain that this is an excerpt of that footage. Though, there's a non-zero percent chance that this is from a bootleg of Academy Award-nominated film Tree of Life.*

Either way, VERY EXCITING STUFF!!!

Whoa! Did you see the part where the guy sat down in the chair and talked on the phone? I knew a guy who did that once! Very engaging.

In retrospect, this can't be Tree of Life.

.

^{* When I first saw this, i thought that one guy was a dinosaur, but he turned out to just be a security guard.}

Tags: Rand Paul, Senate, Tennessee, Travel, TSA