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Terrorism
  • Sean Hannity: Obama Killed Osama bin Laden by Accident

    Do you ever have one of those days when you mean to invite the world's most-wanted terrorist over to the White House for a beer summit but instead order a SEAL team to shoot him dead?

    I hate it when that happens. As Fox News's Sean Hannity explained — shortly after breaking into Rush Limbaugh's drug stash apparently – Barack Obama had exactly that kind of experience, as the raid against bin Laden "wouldn't have happened if [Obama] had his way, and that can be proven, as well, on tape."

    One wonders how the current Republican contenders would have dealt with bin Laden. Ron Paul remembers a time before Congress ruined everything with "standing armies" and "special forces" when letters of marque and reprisal and fabulous, fabulous prizes were all we needed to fight bad guys. Newt Gingrich? Lectures on secular-Islamic fundamentalism broadcast through drone-based loudspeakers throughout the Af-Pak region would have driven bin Laden to suicide long ago. And I think Rick Santorum is okay with how things went down, provided no gay solider was there to gay up the killing with his gayness.

    As for what really transpired, Hannity is obviously the first person the president confides in, so who are we to doubt his contention that Obama can't do anything right? Even when his policy-goal is a relatively modest of one "don't hunt down an infamous mass murderer who has evaded detection for a decade," he still manages to screw it up and kill the guy.

    Photo by Chris McKay/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images


    Tags: al Qaeda, Barack Obama, Fox News, Osama bin Laden, Sean Hannity, Terrorism
  • Barack Obama Legalizes Illegal Aliens

    Don't get me started on immigrants! Sure, I am technically a hispanic immigrant. But I'm not talking about Mexicans and Latinos! I'm talking about whatever is the next group of people who we will all decide to arbitrarily hate. They're (going to be) taking our jobs!

    And now, Obama has made it easier for those figurative and/or literal future aliens by treating them like people

    Obama administration officials announced on Friday that they will propose a fix to a notorious snag in immigration law that will spare hundreds of thousands of American citizens from prolonged separations from immigrant spouses and children…

    The law requires most immigrants who are here illegally to return to their home countries in order to receive their legal visas.

    The catch is that once the immigrants leave the United States, they are automatically barred from returning to this country for at least three years, and often for a decade, even if they are fully eligible to become legal residents.

    Now, Citizenship and Immigration Services proposes to allow the immigrants to obtain a provisional waiver in the United States, before they leave for their countries to pick up their visas. Having the waiver in hand will allow them to depart knowing that they will almost certainly be able to return, officials said.

    It's almost like Obama believes we should treat human beings as if they had rights.

    Unless you're a suspected terrorist, in which case, good luck finding your teeth in a windowless, dark cell!


    Tags: Barack Obama, Civil Rights, Immigration, Terrorism
  • President Obama Releases Turtle Terrorists

    During his 2008 campaign, President Obama repeatedly promised to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay and make greater strides toward transparency and humane treatment of foreign detainees.

    Then he actually became president and realized what a political nightmare that would be. But it looks like he may have changed his mind, at least about the prisoners at Hawaii's Hanauma Bay

    This year, the president and his family released four green sea turtles into the bay’s clear blue water. The 18-month-old turtles were born at Sea Life Park, a nearby marine sanctuary and aquarium that boasts of being the only place in the U.S. that raises green sea turtles in captivity.

    The president and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, enjoyed their turtle experience so much that they decided to make a stop at Sea Life Park later in the day.

    With sectarian violence on the rise again in Iraq, the Taliban securing their hold over Afghanistan and Islamist groups gaining momentum throughout the Arab world, Obama's decision to release four highly dangerous sea turtle detainees is simply outrageous and a grave threat to national reptile security.

    You heard it here first: Obama is soft on turtle terrorism. Sure, the President and his daughters are giggling at all the turtle fun now, but they won't be laughing when those four radicalized sea turtles return to launch a coordinated shell attack against our military's fleet of Mario Karts.

    Photo by Kent Nishimura/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Animals, Barack Obama, Guantanamo Bay, Hawaii, Terrorism, Vacation
  • Barack Obama Celebrates Bill of Rights Day With Support for Indefinite Detention Bill

    Happy Bill of Rights Day! I don't know about you, but the White House celebrated in glorious, hypocritical style by issuing a proclamation exalting the "fundamental liberties [that] have shaped our national character and stirred the souls of all who dream of a freer, more just world," right after reversing its position on the National Defense Authorization Act

    Barack Obama has abandoned a commitment to veto a new security law that allows the military to indefinitely detain without trial American terrorism suspects arrested on US soil who could then be shipped to Guantanamo Bay.

    Human rights groups accused the president of deserting his principles and disregarding the long-established principle that the military is not used in domestic policing. The legislation has also been strongly criticised by libertarians on the right angered at the stripping of individual rights for the duration of "a war that appears to have no end".

    The law, contained in the defence authorisation bill that funds the US military, effectively extends the battlefield in the "war on terror" to the US and applies the established principle that combatants in any war are subject to military detention.

    The Obama administration does have a checkered record on civil liberties, but it's important to acknowledge the progress that has been made. For example, when you hear that knock on your door in the middle of the night, it's quite possible that an openly-serving gay soldier will be the one to drape a black hood over your head (kinky!) and haul your terror suspect ass to Guantanamo.

    Secondly, while the Bush administration just assumed that the 2001 Authorization for Use of Military Force empowered them to imprison people without charges, the Obama administration will have these provisions formally codified. Rule of law, baby!

    Finally, it's probably only a matter of time before SOPA, PROTECT IP and various other "Internet kill switch" bills shut down whole swathes of the Web where whiny civil libertarians talk about these issues, and then we'll finally be spared the embarrassing knowledge of just how far we done fell.

    Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Barack Obama, Civil Rights, Guantanamo Bay, Military, Terrorism
  • Rick Santorum Courts the Coveted Bigot Vote

    When campaigning in Iowa for the Republican nomination, it’s important to hit all the key GOP voting blocs: the evangelicals, the corn farmers, the olds and, of course, the bigots

    In taking questions, Santorum defended his past remarks in support of profiling people as potential terrorists at airports, saying "Of course not" when asked by a woman whether everyone who looks different from him should be profiled.

    "This is common sense. You have to look at what the profile is," Santorum said, suggesting that if a certain group of people were blowing up buildings they should be subject to profiling.

    "I don’t want to be called a xenophobe. I want to be called intelligent," he added, explaining he wants to protect the United States of America.

    After this comment, Rick Santorum has about the same chance of being called "intelligent" as he does being called "President."

    OK, Santorum, let’s make a deal: You get to profile your fellow airline passengers based on ethnicity or style of dress and we get to profile presidential candidates based on their Google search results. We'll judge you not by the color of your skin but by the content of your Urban Dictionary entry. Just as Dr. King would have wanted.

    Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images News/Getty Images


    Tags: Islam, Primaries, Racism, Republicans, Rick Santorum, Terrorism, TSA