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Terry Jones
  • Rev. Terry Jones and His Anti-Islam Book Are Running for President

    Two years ago, Rev. Terry Jones threatened to burn 200 Qurans on the 9th anniversary of 9/11. After every rational person requested he not do that, he vowed not to. Six months later, he put the holy book "on trial" and burned it in his Jacksonville, Florida church. With those kind of credentials, what's keeping him from running for president on the GOP ticket?  Nothing, as it turns out.

    As of yesterday, Rev. Jones is throwing his handlebar mustache into the political ring. To his mind, the current Republican candidates are not being honest. And with his record of doing things he vowed not to do, this man knows honesty like the back of his crossed fingers.

    Aside from honesty, what does Rev. Jones stand for? Well, his platform is like if Ron Paul and Michael Savage had a baby and it grew up in Florida…

    1.  Stop overspending immediately.

    2.  Balance the budget.

    3.  Reduce military spending.

    4.  Deport all illegals.

    5.  Also saving us 400 billion dollars per year. [sic]

    6.  Reduce corporate taxes.

    7.  Reduce bureaucracy.

    These simple yet overly-simplistic goals are sure to catch the attention of Republicans who want more vague solutions to the country's urgent problems.

    Like the other candidates, Rev. Jones conveniently has a book to promote, Islam Is the Devil. But unlike the other candidates, Rev. Jones is the devil Republicans don't know.


    Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Books, Christianity, Islam, Primaries, Religion, Republicans, Terrorism, Terry Jones
  • Stephen Colbert Converts to Islam, Shows The Koran the Best Day Ever

    I'll admit that I've not read the Koran from cover to cover — or, more specifically, at all — but I'm willing to bet that there's something in there somewhere in that prohibits taking it on a roller coaster…

    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

    Tags: Afghanistan, Christianity, Islam, Koran, Religion, Terry Jones
  • Quote Unquote: Free(ish) Speech

    Sen. Lindsey Graham responds to news that Muslim protesters to killed eleven people in Afghanistan last week after hearing that Pastor Terry Jones burned a Koran a few weeks ago…

    "I wish we could find some way to hold people accountable. Free speech is a great idea, but we’re in a war. During World War II, you had limits on what you could do if it inspired the enemy."

    Seriously! Don't get me wrong; I'm totally in favor of free speech. Totally totally! But… does it have to be so… free? Can't we have some kind of free speech that's mitigated in some way? Like, government-approved free speech. It'd be simple. If you wanna say something, you just contact the federal government, requesting permission to say the thing, and then six-to-eight weeks later, they get back to you and let you know if you're allowed to say it.

    I think this could solve a lot of problems in this country, don't you?

    Tags: Afghanistan, Bill of Rights, Christianity, Constitution, Islam, Koran, Lindsey Graham, Religion, Senate, South Carolina, Terry Jones
  • Pastor Terry Jones Having His Constitutional Rights Infringed Upon by U.K.

    Terry Jones — the Floridian pastor who threatens to burn Korans when people with whom he disagrees get to have rights that he doesn't want them to have — has apparently found himself banned from entering the United Kingdom to visit his daughter and granddaughter due to U.K. feelings that he is "not conducive to the public good" and also kind of an asshole…

    Pastor Terry Jones was prevented from coming to the country by the Home Office, in the latest in a string of controversial bans on right-wing American political figures which has led to accusations of censorship against the British government.

    "I have no intention of doing anything against British law," Mr. Terry told Sky News.

    "We feel this is definitely against constitutional rights to travel, freedom of speech."

    I'm not a huge fan of this guy, but I do think that he has a case here. I mean, seriously? These British people are infringing upon his rights under the United States Constitutional rights to travel where he likes! That's not right!

    Our Founding Fathers didn't spend years of their lives fighting British oppression in the hopes of creating a document so fundamental to the American way of life just to have it thrown out the window by a bunch of British people in Britain! Who do they think they are.

    I hope Pastor Jones takes this one all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States.

    Tags: Christianity, Constitution, Islam, Koran, Religion, Terry Jones, United Kingdom
  • The Onion: Terry Jones — Could Have at Least Manned Up and Burned One Koran

    Pastor Terry Jones — who I'm pretty sure is not the guy who was in Monty Python but then, what with ?all the quantum physics around these days, again maybe he was, hey, wouldn't it be crazy if he was the same guy, huh? — has made The Onion's list of People Who Mattered in 2010

    With the gaze of the whole world fixed on his small Gainesville, FL–based Dove World Outreach Center this Sept. 11, Pastor Terry Jones shocked an anxious media by calling off his threat to burn 200 copies of the Koran, which is bullshit, really, because the guy should have at least had the balls to torch one measly copy. Right?

    If Jones, or anyone, wants to get a few hundred million people all riled up on the anniversary of a major national tragedy by saying he's going to burn a Koran, he'd better step up to the goddamn plate and burn a fucking Koran.

    Onion Sportsdome airs Tuesdays at 10:30 pm / 9:30 c on Comedy Central, starting January 11.

    Tags: 9/11, Christianity, Islam, Onion Sportsdome, Religion, Terry Jones, The Onion, World Trade Center