Latest Posts

  • Tweet Roundup: #NewnitedStates

    McSweeney's is celebrating the release of its new anthology, The McSweeney's Book of Politics & Musicals, by starting a hashtag game to think of a new name for the United States. Here's a roundup of the best ones

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    Tags: Democrats, Music, Republicans, Texas, Theater, Twitter
  • Pizza Patrón's Spanish Language Promo Es Muy Controversial

    What's more American than ordering a pizza? Nothing. Not even béisbol or apple cinnamon churros. But that's not what some uptight patriots are saying after hearing about Dallas-based pizza chain Pizza Patrón's new promotion to give away a free pepperoni pizza on June 5th to anyone who orders in Spanish

    "Maybe they thought it was a cute thing to do, but I think it's discrimination," says Marcela Gomez, president of Hispanic Marketing Group, a Latino marketing firm in Nashville. "As an advertising agency, I would never recommend this to my client."

    Marcela Gomez must not watch the popular TV show Hombres Locos. If there's one thing lead character Juan Jamon says, it's that there's no such thing as bad press, especially when it annoys conservatives…

    One conservative group doesn't like it, either. "It seems to punish people who can't speak Spanish, and I resent that," says Peter Thomas, chairman of the Conservative Caucus, which advocates English as the nation's spoken language. "In public areas, people should be speaking English, and that includes pizza parlors."

    Pizza Patrón seems to love raising cejas. The restaurant also recently announced that they'd begin accepting pesos as payment. I don't know about you, but finding a peso seems a lot harder than Googling a Spanish translation of "I'd like to order one pepperoni pizza, please."

    Mr. Thomas does have one thing right, though. People should be speaking English in public areas, including pizza parlors. In fact, why are we even calling it a pizza? That's eyetalian. We should be calling them freezzas, because this is the land of the free.  Where anyone can start a business and market themselves to whomever they want, as long as they don't speak any other language.

    Photo by Dave Einsel/Stringer/Getty Images/Getty Images

    Tags: American, Conservatives, Food, Hispanic, Latino, Racism, Texas
  • Texas Republican Will Not Pee on an Electric Fence [VIDEO]

    Since Newt Gingrich's imminent departure from the Republican primary field will leave us bereft of his personal natural gas reserves and Barack Obama's fascist environmental regulators are unlikely to approve the permits necessary to exploit the oil field in Mitt Romney's hair, the task of providing us with precious hydrocarbons will likely fall to state and local politicians.

    Politicians like Roland Sledge, a conservative Republican running for Texas Railroad Commissioner, a position tasked with not really regulating the state's oil and gas industry. Sledge's myriad qualifications include thirty five years of service in the industry he will regulate cater to and a last name that lends itself to "Sledgehammer" imagery. There's one thing Sledge won't do, according to a new web video — pee on an electric fence…

    The ad raises a couple questions. First, who does political video auteur Roland Sledge think he is, Herman Cain?  More seriously, why does Texas need to elect a Railroad Commissioner, along with a Commissioner of the General Land Office (don't ask), and a Commissioner of Agriculture?

    The unfortunate reality is that creating more elective offices, instead of placing executive authority in the hands of a high profile elected official like the governor, undermines democratic accountability. Voters don't have the wherewithal to learn about the candidates running for General Land Office Commissioner or monitor the performance of their Agriculture Commissioner, so these posts become subject to the control of special interest groups who they're supposed to regulate. If Texas voters had a dollar for every time they were asked to vote for a candidate they can't possibly know anything about, they'd almost have enough oil & gas industry money to run for Texas Railroad Commissioner.

    (Video h/t Buzzfeed)

    Tags: Advertising, Energy & Oil, Texas
  • Mitt Romney Gets Rick Perry's Sloppy Seconds Endorsement

    Back in January when Rick Perry dropped out of the GOP primary, he endorsed Newt Gingrich. But now that Newt's out of the race and Perry's no longer high on pain meds, the Texas governor has finally thrown his ten-gallon cowboy hat into the ring for Mitt Romney

    Texas Gov. Rick Perry endorsed Mitt Romney for president late Wednesday, his spokesman confirmed, making him the latest anti-establishment holdout to jump behind the presumptive nominee.

    "Today I join the many conservative Republicans across the nation in endorsing Mitt Romney for president and pledge to him, my constituents and the Republican Party I will continue to work hard to help defeat President Obama," Mr. Perry said in a statement first reported by Fox News.

    It remains unclear what role the Texas governor will play in the Romney campaign.

    Well, whatever role they let him play, hopefully they won't let him play with sharp objects. Maybe Perry's endorsement will give the Romney campaign the shot in the arm it really needs. If nothing else, Perry can at least give it a mandatory shot of the HPV vaccine.

    Some say it's strange for Perry to endorse Romney so late in the game, but considering it took him an eternity to name three departments of government, we shouldn't be surprised it only took him several months to endorse the actual nominee.

    Photo by Jonathan Gibby/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Fox News, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Primaries, Republicans, Rick Perry, Texas
  • One of A Kind Candidate: Delicia Herrera, Texas House of Representatives, San Antonio, TX

    The New Yorker just ran an article about couch-surfing, so now we can talk about this very hot trend from a few years ago. San Antonio's Delicia Herrera is running for the Texas House District 125 seat, but her house and dog and everything is in District 124. Trends!

    In order to qualify for District 125's Democratic primary, Herrera has been renting her former campaign treasurer's home. She just hasn't been sleeping there. "I haven't been sleeping there the past week, but I will be from now on," she told the San Antonio Express-News. C'mon, Texas, what's the big deal? We live where we say we live. We're not defined by our stuff and our dogs. Home is where you hang your heart, amirite? I don't think I'm right.

    So is this a case of a free spirit set loose on local politics, a wide-ranging woman who just can't be held down in one state district? Or is it a candidate who's being crafty to meet state election guidelines? Only Delicia Herrera–and perhaps her dog–knows for sure. But one thing we do know is that Herrera is willing to relocate for the House of Representatives gig, so that has to count for something. Moving is the worst, amirite? I'm totally right about that.

    Photo via Delicia Herrera's Facebook

    Previously: Ginger Crapse, "Military miniature genius."

    Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Ms. Herrera a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:

    Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to and get started.

    Tags: One of a Kind Candidates, Texas