Barack Obama and Tiger Woods Hold Secret Golf Summit

Still reeling from a campaign in which both candidates limited media access and refused to answer hard-hitting questions like "What about your gaffes?", the political press has come to realize that the president won't even answer questions such as "What about your golfs?"

The White House did not allow pool reporters to cover Barack  Obama's weekend outing with Tiger Woods, prompting White House Correspondents Association's Ed Henry to issue a statement saying, "a broad cross section of our members from print, radio, online and TV have today expressed extreme frustration to me about having absolutely no access to the President of the United States this entire weekend."

The only people having a more sub-par day than the media were Fox Nation commenters:

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Tags: Barack Obama, Fox News, Golf, Media, Sports, Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Blah Blah Blah

I refuse to write about this story involving Tiger Woods in a sex clinic out of protest for the fact that it has already written itself and is putting decent American political humorists out of a job…

"I'm a strong believer that anybody can look within themselves, find their flaws and fix them," President Obama said.

Bill Clinton, whose experience might be particularly instructive, made a personal call to offer encouragement.

Can't these people leave anything for the rest of us?

Tags: Bill Clinton, Golf, Sex, Sports, Tiger Woods

Nobody Cares About Anything Except Tiger Woods, Not Even Harry Reid

War in Afghaniwhat? Unemploymenwho? War on Christmwhere? Health cabibble? Forget it! All humans in the U.S. of A. have contracted "Tiger Fever," even Harry Reid, who is supposed to be- who can tell, at this point?

But he is definitely not supposed to be addressing reporters like this…

"Get the answers from Tiger Woods," Reid, with his tongue firmly planted in his cheek, said even before reporters could ask him a question.

When an aide warned Reid that his quip would "end up on the CNN Web site," the smiling majority leader repeated his previous directive.

"Ask Tiger, not me," Reid said as he walked away from the closed-door briefing he had just received on Afghanistan.

At least now we know the truth: Harry Reid has been having an affair with Tiger Woods, which prompted Tiger Woods' wife to attack him with a golf club because she wanted the secret Afghanistan strategy plans he's been hiding in his car, and Harry thinks this is just hilarious, because he is such a heartless cad.

Of all the Senate Majority Leaders in DC, poor Tiger had to walk into this one…

Tags: Afghanistan, CNN, Harry Reid, Tiger Woods

From the Pork Barrel: Farewell to All That

* Bush staffers say farewell to eight years of White House work, preparing to move onto fulfilling careers.

* Will history regard Bush as poorly as Americans do?

* GOP senators say Secretary of Labor nominee not working out.

* Is anybody actually still counting on a Coleman win? Really?

* Millions set to cheer Tiger Woods on Inauguration Day. No, seriously, I'm not being racist.

* Dan Savage: "So Sen. Vitter isn't coming to the Inauguration then?" (It's funny 'cause it's mean.)

* Atheists praying Barack Obama won't say "God."

* He could say "banana." He could totally say "banana." Lots of people say "banana" all the time.

* From his cold dead hands!

(image via Think Progress)

Tags: Al Franken, Barack Obama, Christianity, David Vitter, George W. Bush, Inauguration, Minnesota, Norm Coleman, Obama Administration, Pork Barrel, Science & Technology, Senate, Tiger Woods