This Tuesday, don't forget to vote 'yes' for all future political debates to be limited to 140 character phrases (and awkward, incriminating twitpics). In the meantime, we've got you covered…
Sometimes you've just gotta put your foot down. And then pick it back up. And then place someone's head under it. And then put it back down again. And repeat.
Got too high to remember to write a joke about how supporters of Prop 19 will be too high to remember to vote for Prop 19.
Tags: California, Christine O’Donnell, Drugs, George W. Bush, Harry Reid, Jimmy McMillan, John Boehner, Marijuana, Meg Whitman, Rand Paul, Tea Party, Tim Proffitt, Tworld News
L.A.-based filmmaker and blogger Peter Atencio really analyzes the underlying themes to be found in HeadStomperGate better than anyone else could ever hope to…
A guy named PROFITT working for a libertarian candidate named RAND stomped on a protester’s head? We live in a world created by a terrible and obvious writer.
Here's hoping it gets cancelled soon, due to bad reviews.
Tags: Ayn Rand, Kentucky, Libertarian, Money, Rand Paul, Senate, Tim Proffitt
Tim Profitt — who apparently is not a character in a Louis L'Amour novel but is the recently-fired Bourbon County coordinator for Rand Paul's senatorial campaign (close enough) who's being brought up on assault charges after stomping a liberal protester in the head — has decided to break his long several-hour silence and give his heart-breaking side of the tragic head-stomping story…
"I don't think it's that big of a deal," Profitt said. "I would like for her to apologize to me to be honest with you."
Of course you would. You've totally got an apology coming. I'm thinking something like this would be nice: "I am so, so, sooooo sorry that I got my head under your foot just when you were about to smash it down forcefully onto the hard concrete of the sidewalk. It was quite rude of me, and I am ever so embarrassed for my actions. I do so hope that the strain of cracking my skull beneath your heel did not contribute to your debilitating back pain."
"She's a professional at what she does," Profitt added, "and I think when all the facts come out, I think people will see that she was the one that initiated the whole thing."
I realize that Lauren Valle is a professional protester for MoveOn. Now, I've never met a professional protester, I don't think. But I've met plenty of hobbyist protesters, and I'll admit that they can inspire some violent mental imagery. But, dude, you've gotta keep those images inside your brain.
The thing is, if a person can trick you into getting her head stomped on the pavement by you, you need some help. Because you're going to go through life as a recurrent victim. People are going to be constantly taking advantage of your emotional feebleness and bamboozling you into stomping on their heads. Is that what you want? A life full of unintentional head stomping?
I don't think that's what you want, Tim Proffitt. Seek help, please. Consider this an stompervention.
Tags: Kentucky, Midterms, Protesters, Rand Paul, Senate, Tim Proffitt
The great the about this country is that, although we have have very strong differences of opinion about politics, we're able to look at one another and see fellow Americans. We know that, even in the midst of a unpleasantly divisive election cycle, at the end of the day — regardless of where we stand on health care or abortion or whether or not the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was unconstitutional — we need to come together as a mob to grab a person with whom we disagree, throw her to the ground and "stomp her head"…
Politics… you can't live with it, you can't get away from the person who's trying to crush your skull under his heel because his friends are holding you down.
Tags: Kentucky, MoveOn, Protesters, Rand Paul, Senate, Tim Proffitt