Caption Challenge: Hillary Clinton & Tim Geithner

Here's what happened when Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner attended the US-China Strategic and Economic Dialogue last week…

Leave your caption in the comments section of this post.

Poor Tim Geithner Still Doesn't Understand How Washington Works

Handsome Haggard Treasury Elf Timothy Geithner is tap-dancing around Capitol Hill today, trying to sell legislators on his fancy new plan to overhaul America's financial regulations.

The proposal includes a provision that would allow Ben Bernanke to eat children if he deems it necessary to stabilize the economy, and that has some folks concerned…

"I do not believe that we can reasonably expect the Fed or any other agency to effectively play so many roles," said Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL), noting that it also sets monetary policy, regulates banks and handles an array of other functions.

Some lawmakers have proposed that the job of overseeing large institutions be left to a council of regulators, not a single agency.

Geithner anticipated that point in his testimony before the Senate Banking Committee, saying in his opening remarks: "You cannot convene a committee to put out a fire."

Timmy, please.

You're talking to the United States government.

Tim Geithner Vows Executive Compensation Will Never Not Be the Same Again

Kiss those seven-zero paychecks goodbye, corporate America. This afternoon Handsome Treasury Elf Tim Geithner held a press conference to kick off a new era of executive compensation, and you are not going to like this one bit…

The Obama administration announced it will seek new powers for the Securities and Exchange Commission to force firms to let shareholders vote on executive pay and make directors who set compensation more independent, without setting any outright caps.

Today’s proposal, subject to congressional approval, would cover all U.S. public companies.

Oh, the SEC will oversee this? Great idea! They've done such a fine job with corporate oversight lately. Nothing gets past those people.

Anyway, Geithner — using the detailed, non-vague language that has become his trademark — smacked down a list of rules regulations restrictions suggestions for how fat you cats can get…

We are not capping pay. We are not setting forth precise prescriptions for how companies should set compensation, which can often be counterproductive. Instead, we will continue to work to develop standards that reward innovation and prudent risk-taking, without creating misaligned incentives.

And the nice thing about not setting any precise prescriptions is that Tim Geithner can decide, if he is bored on a Wednesday, that Vikram Pandit (for example) has totally misaligned a bunch of incentives and therefore should be smeared with honey and thrown into a tank of fire ants.

Have fun with that, guys!

Bank CEO Just So Sick of All This Bailout He's Had to Endure

Angry about the billions of taxpayer dollars poured into TARP, the Troubled Asset Relief Program (With a Heart of Gold)? Well, here's some good news: the CEOs of the banks that received those funds hate it just as much as you do, if not more.

In fact, the word on the Street today is "getting out of TARP," which is code for "getting out from under Treasury's naggy restrictions on executive compensation, asset disclosure, private jets, escorts and etc." Banks are trying to escape this financial Gitmo by repaying the TARP funds, but their egos will take longer to recover.

Which may explain why, at a recent conference in New York City, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon read this snarky little note he composed for Handsome Treasury Elf Tim Geithner…

“Dear Timmy, we are happy to be able to pay back the $25 billion you lent us. We hope you enjoyed the experience as much as we did.”

Ha ha ha! That's rich. Much like Jamie Dimon.

Kinda reminds me of this one time when I slipped on some ice and bashed my head open on the sidewalk. Man, I just let those loser paramedics have it, all the way to the ER.

WINNER Caption Challenge: Timothy Geithner

Submitted by George Vaccaro.