The Onion: Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able to Listen to W.A.S.P. Albums

The former Vice President reaps the benefits of the bachelor lifestyle…

"For the first time in decades, I get to play the kind of music I like without someone nagging me about what a bad influence it is," said Gore, sitting on the floor of his living room as he cued up the song "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)" on his stereo. "And I get to crank it up as loud as I want."…

Gore, who was prohibited from hearing music with graphic sex, violence, or drug references since Tipper founded the Parents Music Resource Center in 1985, confirmed yesterday that her crusade was "total bullcrap."…

"It sucked because we always had to listen to garbage like Carly Simon and Lyle Lovett all the time," said Gore, who told reporters that he was "loving" being single again. "That stuff is lame, man. If it doesn't have big balls and bigger riffs, get it out of my stereo!"

Hey, I'll bet you that him and Joe Biden can get back to trading cassette tapes now.

The Globally Hot and Sultry Truth* About Al and Tipper Gore

Our friend and contributing columnist Gladstone just released this shocking video confession on his home site, the ramifications of which could be devastating and far reaching. I'll just say this: He'd better keep one eye over his shoulder on the look out for polar bears. I hear that Al Gore guy is somewhat connected…

^{* May not be actual truth.}

An Irreconcilable Truth About Al and Tipper Gore

It appears as though former vice-president Al Gore and his wife of some four decades Tipper have made a decision to begin doubling their carbon footprints by living in separate residences…

Former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, are separating after 40 years of marriage.

According to an e-mail circulated among the couple's friends and obtained by The Associated Press on Tuesday, the Gores said it was "a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration."

Gore spokeswoman Kalee Kreider confirmed the statement came from the Gores, but declined to comment further.

Friends say the marriage has been over for months, but that the couple didn't want to make it official before hearing from Florida.