Tweet Untweet: Worst-Case Scenario

If North Korea doesn't wise up and knock this off, we're gonna have another Toby Keith record on our hands.

— Paul Danke (@pauldanke) February 12, 2013

Tweet Untweet: Boot in Mouth Disease

Romney and Obama shouldn’t be exploiting the death of innocent people from a terrorist attack for their own gain. That’s Toby Keith’s job.

— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) September 14, 2012

LL Cool J, Toby Keith: "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Sarah Palin's TV Special!"

The other day we, like the rest of the internet, reported the brow-raising news that Sarah Palin is hosting a special called Real American Stories on Fox News tonight, a show featuring interviews with Toby Keith, LL Cool J and Jack Welch. Many people were surprised to learn this, including LL Cool J, who tweeted:

Fox lifted an old interview I gave in 2008 to someone else & are misrepresenting to the public in order to promote Sarah Palins Show. WOW

Ever-respectful of criticism, Fox News responded with a totally un-snarky press release:

"Real American Stories" features uplifting tales about overcoming adversity and we believe Mr. Smith's interview fit that criteria. However, as it appears that Mr. Smith does not want to be associated with a program that could serve as an inspiration to others, we are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career.

Yowch. (Oh, and it's James Todd Smith — you knew that, right? Ladies love cool James, but James does not love lame ladies also too.)

The story might end here, but this is Sarah Palin we're talking about, so of course there's more…

Read More »

No Fake American Stories Allowed on Sarah Palin's Fox News Special

Better fire up your TiVos (or your TiVCRs) — Sarah Palin's hitting the airwaves with a special on Fox News tomorrow night, perhaps to give us a taste of her talent before she launches Survivor: Sarah Palin's Alaska.

Plans for the special were kept under wraps until the last minute, because come on…

Sarah Palin will take her first stab at television hosting when she fronts a new Fox News series, Real American Stories, premiering Thursday April 1 at 10pmET.

Guests for the first show include country singer Toby Keith, rapper/actor LL Cool J and Jack Welch.

Some of you, upon reading that list and noticing that date, might be thinking, "Oh, sure. Right. Thursday April 1. Nice try, Sarah Palin, but as they say, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

Begging to differ, comrades. If Sarah Palin really wanted to play an April Fool's Day trick on us, she'd turn off her publicity machine for 24 hours and sit in the dark writing coherent sentences, longhand, on the margins of a dictionary.

Wait, Toby Keith is Backing Obama??

You have to hand it to Barack Obama. He really knows how to reel in the celebrity vote. He's won over actors like Ben Affleck and Scarlett Johansson, athletes like Charles Barkley and Emmitt Smith, and musicians like Toby Keith. When you add these names to the list of plain — pwffa$@!&?!

Wait a minute! Did I really just say Toby Keith??

Wow, I guess I did…

"I thought it was beautiful the other day when Obama went to Afghanistan and got educated about Afghanistan and Iraq. He came back and said some really nice things," Keith remarked.

"So as far as leadership and patriotism goes, I think it's really important that those things have to take place. And I think he's the best Democratic candidate we've had since Bill Clinton. And that's coming from a Democrat."

Okay, I have nothing left in my mouth to spit out. A Democrat?? Really? So the man who gave us "Shock'n Y'all," "Beer For My Horses" and foot-in-mouth racial political science is a Democrat?

Huh.

You'd think the Zell Millers of the party would have broken me in by this point.