Tom Feeney Goes Down Hard

Chalk another one up to the unseen hand of disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff!

Republican Congressman Tom Feeney has apparently lost his seat in the House of Representatives to Democratic challenger Suzanne Kosmas. Although he was never charged with any crime, Feeney took a very ill-advised golfing and whisky-sipping trip to Scotland financed by Abramoff, which he then had to apologize for in an embarassing commercial.

Feeney bizarrely paid for ten of thousands of robocalls on behalf of Kosmas' opponent in the Democratic primary, but she still won, and now has gone on to win in the general election.

His buddy Abramoff is now in jail, and Feeney gets to head to his golden years in retirement. Fortunately, he's already in Florida!

Five Years Later, Rep. Tom Feeney Apologizes for Abramoff

Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL) has been named repeatedly on a non-partisan list of the most corrupt Members of Congress, been caught deceitfully meddling in the opposite party's primary, and was accused of trying to rig the 2000 election and bribing people to play along. So how does he handle this firestorm of accusations with just one month remaining until Election Day?

Answer: He apologizes for an unrelated transgression — one he committed five years ago…

In an unusual campaign move, U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney will use a new television ad to apologize for his role in the Jack Abramoff corruption scandal.

Set to air Tuesday, the 30-second spot features Feeney alone at a kitchen telling viewers that he made a "rookie mistake" by taking a 2003 golfing trip to Scotland that was paid for Abramoff, whom he calls a corrupt lobbyist.

"I embarrassed myself, I embarrassed you and for that, I'm very sorry," said Feeney, holding a black coffee mug as soft music plays in the background.

As you can see from the video below, Feeney will eventually have to issue a follow-up apology to beg forgiveness for the cheesy New Age music he chose to underscore this, his initial apology.

But given the current length of his remorse cycle, that video will not be issued until 2013.

How to Survive the Robo-Call Uprising in Florida

Florida Republican Congressman Tom Feeney has a novel way to stave off the encroaching shadow of defeat in his home district… Campaign on behalf of his opponent!

Feeney, a multi-year honoree in the prestigious Most Corrupt Members of Congress Report, is financing robo-calls on behalf of Clint Curtis, a Democrat trying to unseat him in November…

In calls to Central Florida residents, a volunteer for the Feeney campaign lauds Curtis and calls him the "only Democrat taking on Tom Feeney that has consistently opposed the war in Iraq." At the end of the call, the female volunteer said the calls were "paid for by Tom Feeney for Congress."

Feeney's rationale is that he has a better shot against Curtis than he does against the other Democratic challenger, former State Rep. Suzanne Kosmas, who sits on the board of the powerful Friends of the Doris Leeper Spruce Creek Preserve.

Adding intrigue to the race is the fact that Curtis is a computer programmer who previously accused Feeney of bribing him to develop software that could rig the 2000 Florida election results.

Feeney denies this, arguing that "I didn't lead the purple Martian invasion of Earth." And besides, they seemed perfectly capable of rigging the 2000 election just fine without any software.

Meanwhile the pro-Curtis robo-calls continue, and Feeney aides consider the money well spent. They estimate the expense at just 10 cents per call—which is 1/56,000th of what Jack Abramoff paid to escort Feeney on a golf junket to Scotland.