Jon Stewart on the "In God We Trust" Resolution

I find it so hard to believe that Congress would spend its time doing things like reaffirming "In God We Trust" as our national motto. That's time that could be spent on television complaining about the atheistic hordes who are overtaking our poor nation. Where are their priorities?

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Atheists, Bill of Rights, Charlie Rangel, Constitution, Fox, Gretchen Carlson, House of Representatives, Jerrold Nadler, Jon Stewart, Religion, The Daily Show, Tom Price, Trent Franks, Unemployment, Video

Awesome Advice for President Obama Re: Afghanistan Troop Levels

Feel free to exhale: President Obama has finally given the order to send about 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan, just like everyone knew he would. (Uh, feel free to continue holding your breath if you're about to deploy, or if you're related to one of those 30,000 troops.)

We'll hear more about "this Afghanistan thing" when the president gives a speech at West Point tomorrow night, but he'd better be careful…

Georgia Rep. Tom Price, just back from Afghanistan, told CNN Monday that President Obama must sound resolute about his commitment to winning the war in Afghanistan when he unveils his military strategy for the country Tuesday evening.

"If he says that he's going to commit 32,000 or 34,000 more troops and maybe it will work or maybe it won't, that's not the message we need to hear or the world needs to hear," said Price, a Republican who spent the Thanksgiving holiday in Afghanistan.

Thank you, Rep. Price! "War, man, whatcha gonna do? Send some troops? Sure, fine. Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't, I dunno, hey, you hear about Tiger Woods? That is some crazy shit right there."

This is the exact presidential address we have now been saved from hearing.

Tags: Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Military, Tom Price

Democratic Congressperson Re-Introduces Civility to House Floor, Says GOP Wants You to "Die Quickly!"

Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla) sure does seem to have a way with posterboards, doesn't he?

After saying he was inspired to read the Republican health care plan by the paper-waving GOP lawmakers at Obama's recent address, Grayson summed up his findings with a few simple pieces of posterboard.

"The Republican health care plan: don't get sick," he said. But, he added,"The Republicans have a back up plan in case you do get sick … This is what the Republicans want you to do. If you get sick America, the Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly!"

In the midst of this loud and divisive battle over health care reform, you really gotta respect that kind of sober and thoughtful debating (especially since he decided against using his original fourth placard). Because that's a pretty fair assessment of what Republicans wants for Americans, right? A quick

House Republicans were, however, shocked by Grayson's presentation. Heavens to Murgatroyd! Those conservative gentlemen had never heard such partisan promulgation! Why, they were practically struck down with the vapors…

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Tags: Alan Grayson, Florida, Health Care, House of Representatives, John Boehner, Michael Steele, Tom Price

Joe Wilson Is the Key to Better Days for GOP

Looks like the Rep. Joe Wilson saga has officially jumped the plumber. Big Daddy YouLie! has, it seems, become the newest hero of the Republican Party…

Not many people get to sign their names to one of the [National Republican Congressional Committee]'s fundraising e-mails. Its chair, Pete Sessions, does — so does House Minority Leader John Boehner, and Rep. Tom Price, R-Ga., who's the leader of the House's conservative caucus. No one other than those three has done so since the end of June, at least not according to my inbox. But on Friday, Wilson did.

What's that? The guy who yelled nonsense at the President like a heroic junior high student signed his name to this fundraising email? Grab my checkbook and tell the kids to forget about college! It's Savin' America Time!

Tags: House of Representatives, Joe Wilson, John Boehner, Pete Sessions, Republicans, South Carolina, Tom Price