Quote Unquote: Joe Barton's Unmatched Courage

MSNBC pundit Pat Buchanan on Rep. Joe Barton's stirring and heartfelt apology to Tony Hayward and BP during congressional hearings this morning and why he is probably America's greatest American hero for what he has done…

"I will say this. Barton made a very courageous statement in my judgment, when you consider that BP is probably universally loathed and even hated for what has happened, that horrendous tragedy down on the Gulf."

I guess, when you put it that way, it is kind of courageous. In the same way that it's courageous for Pat Buchanan to go on TV and defend Barton's apology.

Wait a sec. "Courageous" is a synonym for "obsequious," isn't it? (My thesaurus is currently in the shop.)

Tags: BP, Corporations, Energy & Oil, Environment, House of Representatives, Joe Barton, Pat Buchanan, Texas, Tony Hayward

Rep. Joe Barton Apologizes to Tony Hayward, BP on Behalf of All of Us

As decent and patriotic Americans who care about our country and the people who work every day to make it the greatest country in the Northern and Western hemispheres between Mexico and Canada, we're all pretty appalled by everything that's been happening with BP and the Gulf Coast.

Obviously, we all think its a complete disgrace the way that the White House has been making CEO Tony Hayward and all the poor folks at British Petroleum take responsibility for the environmental disaster that threatens the livelihoods of thousands of Americans. No free market businessperson should ever be subjected to such treatment.

Luckily, we have political leaders like $100,470-recipient-of-oil-contributions Rep. Joe Barton around to make things right…

Rep. Joe Barton, a Texas Republican, apologized to Hayward for what he described as a "shakedown" at the White House yesterday. He was referring to the deal worked out between the Obama administration and BP to set up a $20 billion fund administered by a third party to pay for damages from the catastrophic oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico…

"I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday," Barton said. "I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case, a $20 billion shakedown."

Talk about class! That guy's got more of it than Gulf Coast beaches have barrels and barrels of deadly poisonous oil washing up onto them.

Furthermore, I think there's a few pelicans who owe Mr. Hayward a similar apology. That ill-gotten petroleum they've been dousing themselves in isn't free, you know.

Update: Very moving video if the statement can be found here.

Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Corporations, Energy & Oil, Environment, House of Representatives, Joe Barton, Money, Tony Hayward, White House

A Brief History of the End of the World (Brought to You by BP)

Hey, have you heard about the uncloseable hole that British Petroleum bore into the Earth's crust which is spewing massive amounts of incredibly expensive toxic poisons into the Gulf of Mexico and threatening all life as we know it? No?

Well, here's some of the Daily Show's best coverage of this deadly Oilageddon (just made that up!) that will kill us all…

May 3, 2010: Beyond Awful

More Daily Show coverage of the Gulf spill after the jump…

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.

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Tags: BP, Energy & Oil, Gulf Coast, Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, Tony Hayward, Video

BP CEO Tony Hayward Is an Evil Box of Priggish Entitled Baking Soda

Hey, look. I know it's very chic to despise British Petroleum's CEO Tony Hayward lately. But if I can just play the Devil's Advocate for a moment, I'd like to ask you something.

Have considered abhorring him? How about detesting him? Would it kill you to loathe the guy a little? Come on, people, let's get a little creative here…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Animals, Barack Obama, BP, Energy & Oil, Gulf Coast, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Tony Hayward

Stephen Colbert Shows President Obama How to Get Angry at BP

When will politicians learn that you can't be angry and wear fancy pants at the same time. Sen. Finneus "The Gilded Hammer" Fontlebleu tried that schtick back in the '40s, and it was a complete disaster, I do say…

The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

Tags: Barack Obama, BP, Energy & Oil, Fox, Gulf Coast, Larry King, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Tony Hayward, Video