From the Pork Barrel: Adieu, Sweet Oprah

* Perhaps taking a cue from her most rogueish guest, Oprah Winfrey has decided she will no longer be shackled behind her talk show.

* The Senate takes up its version of the health care bill tomorrow morning. Harry Reid needs 60 votes just to proceed with debate, because the Republicans do not want to deal with this thing at all. If they filibuster, let us hope they forgo the phonebooks and pledge allegiance to the flag for twelve hours straight. (Eat your heart out, Todd Akin!)

* Said health care bill is 2,074 pages long. Tony Perkins and his fightin' evangelicals have released something called "The Manhattan Declaration," which manages to cover "the sanctity of life, traditional marriage and religious liberty" in just 4,700 words.

* President Obama will make a decision about Afghanistan troop levels after Thanksgiving, assuming he's not in a food coma.

Tags: Abortion, Afghanistan, Barack Obama, Christianity, Filibuster, Harry Reid, Health Care, Marriage Equality, Oprah Winfrey, Pork Barrel, Religion, Senate, Tony Perkins

Senate Democrats Commit Hate Crimes with Their Hate Crimes Legislation

That's pretty much the situation since the Senate voted yesterday to include attacks on gays and lesbians under the federal definition of hate crimes, because you'll never guess how the Democrats pulled it off: they weaseled their precious "Matthew Shepard Act" into a defense spending bill. What is a Republican supposed to do at that point? Must… stop… homosexual agenda. Must… also… support… troops. Agh. Agghrhrrhh. Gghhhhrr. (The final vote was 68-29.)

Let's see, there's got to be a press release from Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council. Yep, here it is:

"In a slap to the face of our servicemen and women, they attached 'hate crimes' legislation to the final defense bill, forcing Congress to choose between expanding hate crimes or making our military go without. This hate crimes provision is part of a radical social agenda that could ultimately silence Christians [...blah blah, etc...]."

Funny thing about this hate crimes legislation, actually, there is this one part of it I hadn't noticed before…

It also would make it a federal crime to attack U.S. military personnel because of their service.

Whoa! So why are Tony and his conservative allies demanding President Obama's veto? If I read this right, by slapping our servicemen and women in the face with this legislation, the U.S. Senate has just convicted itself of a hate crime. Dudes, let it pass and let the awesome lawsuits begin!

Tags: Barack Obama, Democrats, Family Research Council, LGBT, Senate, Tony Perkins

The Evangelical Right Takes Another Swipe at Barack Obama

When not slashing women to death in lonely motels to the sound of shrieking violins and dressing his mother's corpse up in her Sunday best, Tony Perkins is the president of the Family Research Council, an Evangelical conservative lobbying organization that thinks abortion should be aborted and homosexuality is totally gay.

In the wake of James Dobson's perplexing critiques of the Democratic candidate, the FRC just released this advertisement — starring Perkins himself and his son Samuel (who, incidentally, has zero screen presence) — attacking Barack Obama's stance on abortion…

The ad begins with file footage of Obama saying…

"We need fathers to recognize that responsibility doesn't just end at conception."

…which perfectly sets up Perkins' chance to pose this question to the Illinois senator…

"If, as you say, fatherhood begins at conception, when does life begin?… Let me ask it this way: if I became a father at conception, when did Samuel here become my son?"

Oh, I know this. I know this! Don't tell me!

It's, um… 45 miles an hour!

Gah! I suck at math!

(via The War Room)

Update: In the comments, Indy reader kia thinks s/he's solved Perkins' braintwister…

According to the Christians I know, Samuel becomes your son as soon as the sperm penetrates the egg… and he stops being your son the day he announces he's gay.

Tags: Barack Obama, Tony Perkins