GOP Starting to Worry About Romney's Continual Stream of Gaffes

The Republican Party is slowly starting to realize that they're not going to do much better than Mitt Romney. (And I only meant for that to sound half as deflated as you read it.)

He's certainly more likable than Newt Gingrich, in that he is any other person in the world besides Newt Gingrich. He's also more in line with the current party base than Ron Paul and more in line with the current human race than Rick Santorum. So, he's clearly the guy!

The only problem with Romney — well, the only one of many problems with Romney — is that he has this annoying habit of opening his mouth. And people are worried about that…

"When you know that the media is against you to start with, which is the case with Romney and [Newt] Gingrich, you have to be extremely careful that you don't give them a phrase that can go on a bumper sticker," said one Republican congressman who asked for anonymity in order to speak freely.

Rep. Trent Franks (R-Ariz.), who has endorsed Gingrich but said he liked Romney as well, said the former governor should be more careful about his choice of words going forward.

"Mr. Romney, unfortunately and through no fault of his own whatsoever [Ed. Note: So true; such a tough lot in life that Romney's been dealt], is almost the ideal caricature for the 'divide America' strategy of Barack Obama. It's going to be important for him to be aware of that," Franks said. "Mr. Obama’s strategy is an insidious one, and unfortunately historically effective. My only admonition to Mr. Romney is to be aware of it and to be cautious [that] what he says doesn't play into that."

Why can't Mitt Romney be more like his friends the corporations? You never catch them saying anything. They are content to float majestically above the populace, siphoning money into the stratosphere. When oh when are we going to amend our archaic laws against nominating non-sentient-Americans like Halliburton and Bain Capital?

Until that injustice is overturned, I suppose we'll just have to make do with non-sentient-Americans like Mitt Romney.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Tags: House of Representatives, Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Trent Franks

Jon Stewart on the "In God We Trust" Resolution

I find it so hard to believe that Congress would spend its time doing things like reaffirming "In God We Trust" as our national motto. That's time that could be spent on television complaining about the atheistic hordes who are overtaking our poor nation. Where are their priorities?

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

Tags: Atheists, Bill of Rights, Charlie Rangel, Constitution, Fox, Gretchen Carlson, House of Representatives, Jerrold Nadler, Jon Stewart, Religion, The Daily Show, Tom Price, Trent Franks, Unemployment, Video

How to Build a Funky, Funky Turtle Fence, with Rep. Pete Hoekstra

The Auto-Tune the News guys are fresh from chillaxin' their main homey Stephen Baldwin at CPAC (Ed note: Huh?) and back to droppin' edits or something. Whatever it is that they do…

Tags: Bobby Jindal, Football, Health Care, House of Representatives, Pete Hoekstra, Scott Brown, Senate, Sports, Trent Franks

Obstructionist Partisanship? There's a Rep for That!

I have a feeling this is not what Michael Steele had in mind when he promised to re-brand the GOP has newer and hipper…

Don't you hate, though, how these funny vial clips often make unkind assertions about politicians and leave you wondering if they have any proof to back up their claims. Well, turns out, there's a post for that.

Tags: Bill Sali, House of Representatives, Joe Wilson, John Shimkus, Louie Gohmert, Lynn Jenkins, Lynn Westmoreland, Mark Kirk, Michele Bachmann, Republicans, Science & Technology, Steve King, Trent Franks, Virginia Foxx

Meet CAIR: It's Your New ACORN, with Bonus Muslim Spies

Four House Republicans woke up yesterday and said to themselves, "You know what's wrong with America? There might be a Muslim in the next room right now." Remarkably, this thought coincided with the publication of Muslim Mafia: Inside the Secret Underworld That's Conspiring to Islamize America, an "explosive" book for which a House Republican — North Carolina's Sue Myrick — wrote the forward. See where this is going?

Yep, these footsoldiers in the war on terror have called for investigations into the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR), because it's got Muslims palling around with Americans and vice versa all the time, and in professional circles, that's known as spying…

[Reps. Sue Myrick of North Carolina, Trent Franks of Arizona, Paul Broun of Georgia and John Shadegg of Arizona] on Wednesday accused the nation's largest Muslim advocacy group of trying to "infiltrate" Capitol Hill by placing interns in the offices of lawmakers who handle national security issues.

Exactly as it's written in Muslim Mafia, the result of an "explosive" undercover investigation: the author's son grew a beard, got an internship with CAIR and stole a bunch of their paperwork. That's one intern spy right there! There must be more, and they must be up to something…

While the Republicans said they did not know of specific legislation that CAIR had affected, Franks, a Judiciary Committee member, said he wouldn’t be surprised if it was trying to amend the Patriot Act.

Oh no, that wouldn't be surprising at all.

The real shocker would be if it turns out interns are actually capable of affecting legislation.

Tags: Council on American-Islamic Relations, Islam, John Shadegg, Paul Broun, Republicans, Sue Myrick, Trent Franks