"Don't Worry, Officer. That Lump's Not a Bomb; It's a Tumor!"

Fake Science explains how TSA body scanners keep us safe using actual fake science…

Oh! Is that all?! I feel safer already!

This Modern World: Security Theatre Follies!

Read the whole thing.

Tworld News: Week of November 22, 2010

Happy Twanksgiving e'rybody! Here's the news, tweetified!

Grizzly Bears, Russia, or Katie Couric (which of these things is Sarah Palin not cool with having in her backyard?)

World celebrates engagement of good (not anti-semitic/ginger) prince.

Read More »

SNL Makes TSA Kind of LOL

So, as I'm sure you're aware, it is now against the law for people to visit their grandparents without going to second base (at least) with the screening dude at the airport. C'mon people, this is civilized society, and you can't make a civilized society omelet without cupping some boobs. (That sentence made more sense when it was still inside my head.)

Even President Obama has said that, while he understands "people's frustrations" with having to let some mustache guy inspect your uterus for semi-automatic weapons, it's sadly necessary to keep the whole country from getting blown up. So, maybe we all just need to sit back and enjoy. As Saturday Night Live points out…

"What are you waiting for? I wanna check under your testicles."

Well said.

Erroll Southers Creates a Job Opening at the TSA

Whoa. President Obama's pick to head the Transportation Security Administration, Erroll Southers, withdrew his nomination today because he "has become a lightning rod for those with a political agenda." (Gosh, I wonder what he means by that.)

Let's just hope that whoever replaces Southers has a bold new vision for national security, as well as a bold new ability to give Jim DeMint hot oil rubdowns.