Tweet Untweet: TSA Gets Comfortable with Small Knives

Thank goodness the TSA has made it possible for weirdo loners to clip their toenails on planes again.

— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) March 6, 2013

Conservatives Discover That Conference of Awful People Is Awful

CPAC is like Burning Man for conservative activists. Only instead of wacky costumes and insane worldviews, there are lapel pins and insane worldviews.

But what does it take to get invited?

Being a popular Republican governor of a blue state? Nope. Chris Christie of New Jersey was denied a speaking slot this year, his punishment for refusing to spit in Barack Obama's general direction after Hurricane Sandy.

How about being a popular Republican governor of a swing state? Ha, no. Virginia's Bob McDonnell was deemed too electable to grace CPAC with his well-coiffed presence.

Instead, CPAC is getting crazy person of note Donald Trump. Maybe the event's planners are angling for their own season of "Celebrity Apprentice," but even so, some conservatives think it's a yuuuuge mistake:

Did CPAC do anything blitheringly stupid yet today? I know it's early.

— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) March 6, 2013

Trump again. Can we timestamp this? No one is allowed to deny any longer that the conservative movement is anything but a mail-order scheme.

— Michael B Dougherty (@michaelbd) March 6, 2013

A problem on the right is making heroes out of our enemies' enemies. Trump isn't a conservative hero, nor is Woodward (or Dick Morris or…)

— Matt Lewis (@mattklewis) March 5, 2013

There's still time to invite Unskewed Polls Guy, CPAC!

Photo by David Becker/Stringer/Getty Images

Tweet Untweet: How Will The Dow Jones Change Your Life?

The Dow Jones has hit a record high! We're all gonna be RICH!** not applicable to people who aren't already rich

— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) March 5, 2013

Tweet Untweet: Bizarro Bush

I hope President Jeb Bush picks Nathan Cheney as his Vice President and Rufus Rumsfeld as his Defense Secretary

— John DeVore (@JohnDeVore) March 5, 2013

Tweet Untweet: Bragging Wrongs

.@realdonaldtrump @celebapprentice And Mitt Romney won with white men over 50, but you don't see him bragging about his horrible results.

— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) March 4, 2013