Sexy Ladies Needed for Insider Trading Scheme

Think there aren't enough jobs for recent college grads In These Tough Economic Times? Think again. Some intrepid soul has taken to backpage.com to prove naysayers wrong with the ad above.

If you are a "beautiful, sophisticated" lady with a "sense of adventure," this totally above-board professional is willing to hire you to seduce businessmen in hopes of "extracting key pieces of information." Thanks, Obama!

I know "Do they offer a matching 401(k) plan?" is every potential applicant's first question, because thinking about the future is important when facing a potential prison term. Sadly, there's no mention of benefits. But CNBC's John Carney does lay out some of the legal pitfalls with becoming a secret sex agent:

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Green Shoots: "Fifty Shades of Grey" Publisher Gives out $5K Bonuses

There was some good employment news this morning.

There was even better employment news on Wednesday night, if you're lucky enough to be employed by Random House.

At the company's Christmas party, employees were told that they'd each be getting $5,000 bonuses–that's all employees, from executives to lowly copyeditors to even-lowlier warehouse workers–because the publishing giant had such an incredibly profitable year.

"Hang on," you say. "Aren't books just the things you use to prop up your iPad?"

Yes, but not when those books are penned by E. L. James, whose schlocky Twilight rip-off Fifty Shades of Grey was acquired by Random House and became the fastest-selling book of all time. I wonder what percentage of world economic activity is attributable to this book, its forthcoming sequels and the sale of fake-silk neckties to suburban moms? Sixteen percent, maybe? More?

Lesson learned: Instead of arguing about how to create jobs and finance higher education, lawmakers should just send every American under the age of 25 to a fanfic workshop and call it a day.

Previously
Fifty Shades of Grey: The Lost Newt Gingrich Passages

Our Endorsements: The UK Throws Political Stones Across the Pond

The No Pressure To Be Funny podcast manages to be just that.

* The 2012 election in movie context.

* Once China owns TMZ, their crack reporting may go downhill.

* Wonkette puts the squeeze on Rep. John Fleming's racial profiling problem.

* "An Open Letter to the Job Market" that, oddly, doesn't begin with "WTF?!"

* Rally Downtown helps small businesses in Lower Manhattan that were affected by Hurricane Sandy, 12/7-8!

* Not surprisingly, there's a lot of politics on this list of 2012 things we should forget.

Tags: China, Daily Links, Hurricane Sandy, John Fleming, New York City, Unemployment, United Kingdom

Tweet Untweet: Romney Is Probably Having a Bad Hair Day

The unemployment rate is down again but I miss how unruly Mitt Romney's hair got after these announcements.

— lafix (@lafix) December 7, 2012

BLS Truthers: Barack Obama Still Rigging Jobs Report

According to the nerds at the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, total nonfarm payroll employment rose by 146,000 in November and the unemployment rate edged down to 7.7%.

At least with the election behind us, we won't have to listen to people claiming the Obama administration is rigging these numbers to affect the polls. Or will we?

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