In some ways a presidential campaign is a lot like Olympic gymnastics: There's lots of flip-flopping and someone always cries at the end. How does Mitt Romney's foreign trip stack up on the International Gymnastics Federation's scoring system?
Event: Special Relationship Still Rings
Degree of Difficulty: Medium
The Routine: In a standard still ring routine, gymnasts are required to perform various skills while keeping the rings in an unchanging position. In the special relationship variant, candidates are required to adopt positions that have some relevance to the modern international order, while convincing our British allies that they are now and forever our very best and most important friends, even though this has no semblance to reality whatsoever.
The Execution: Romney went back in time to insult the British about their houses being the wrong height and size.
Score: 12.5, with high deductions for general instability.
Tags: Israel, Mitt Romney, Olympics, Poland, United Kingdom
* Mitt and Ann Romney are apparently big fans of BBC's Downton Abbey, which is cool but not shocking. It's always nice to see how the less fortunate live.
* CNN explains how America ends.
* Still looking for the proper venue for your play "Long Day's Journey to the Right"? Need an audience that's sophisticated enough to appreciate your masterwork "The Taxman Cometh"? Want to get some receptive eyeballs on "Much Agnew About Nothing"? Have I got news for you! Philadelphia's Republican Theater Festival 2012 has sent out a call for submissions. Get yours in today!
* Download the Indecision Election Companion, our free app for your iPhone and iPad, and climb up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond as Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia spreads his hippy peacelovedope message all over Fox News Sunday on Fox News this Sunday at 10/9c.
Tags: Ann Romney, Mitt Romney, Television, United Kingdom
I don't really get Mitt Romney's decision to make a special trip to England just so that he can insult its government and its people in as many ways as he can come up with. But hey, I've never been much of a long-term strategist.
Even so, I'm gonna say that building a time machine just so that he can go back in time to 2010 before his book No Apology was published just so that he throw this in this catty comment seems a tad excessive…
"England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn't make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn't been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler's ambitions."
How much you wanna bet that right now he's got top men working on a perpetual motion machine capable of sticking his foot in his mouth an infinite amount of times between now and November?
Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Books, Mitt Romney, United Kingdom