Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney decided today to walk back his inexplicably-unpopular decision to criticize British government's ability to host the 2012 Olympic Games. Human people! How's a guy supposed to predict how their brain emotions will work?!
U.S. presidential candidate Mitt Romney tried Thursday to quiet grumblings over comments that seemed to question Britain's readiness to host the Olympic Games, now saying he expects the games to be a success.
After meeting with Prime Minister David Cameron at his Downing Street residence, the Republican told reporters he expects the games "to be highly successful." He said he and Cameron talked about the "great progress" that has been made in the games, which have been criticized for security woes and organization.
I'm not sure whether this counts as a flip-flop, an acquiescence to a foreign power or a peace offering from one Anglo-Saxon to another.
Photo by David Bebber/AFP/Getty Images
Tags: David Cameron, Mitt Romney, Olympics, Sports, United Kingdom
The Olympics are supposed to be a time when nations set aside their differences and marvel at feats of athleticism, prancing horses and the ageless wonder that is Bob Costas. For Americans, it's an opportunity to learn about all the countries we haven't invaded yet and — at most — make a list of states that have enough natural resources to warrant democratizing good and hard in the future. But we're not supposed to go to war during the Games.
Tell that to Mitt Romney, who began his trip to London by questioning the host nation's preparedness, instead of trying to figure out whether to cheer for Bermuda or Switzerland.
"You know it's hard to know just how well it will turn out," Romney told NBC, "There were a few things that were disconcerting."
"The story about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials, that is not something that is encouraging."
British Prime Minister David Cameron rebuffed Romney's skepticism and, er, made fun of Utah…
"We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere."
Great, now "the special relationship is special" because we're at war with Britain.
Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: David Cameron, Mitt Romney, Olympics, Sports, United Kingdom, Utah
Just prior to Mitt Romney's arrival in London, one of his advisers has revealed the shocking secret that President Obama is a black guy, telling the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph that Romney would have a better grasp of the relationship between Britain and the United States because, "We are part of an Anglo-Saxon heritage, and he feels that the special relationship is special. The White House didn't fully appreciate the shared history we have."
The advisers spoke on the condition of anonymity because "Romney's campaign requested that they not criticise the President to foreign media" and also because even the dimmest surrogate must be embarrassed at having said "the special relationship is special," a tautology that is tautological.
Since the advisers never explain how Romney's policy towards Britain would differ from Obama's, most have interpreted this remark as a racist "dogge hwistle," just a tad more subtle than a World Net Daily feature. But in an era when politicians are falling over themselves to warn about the dangers of Iran and China, it's nice that someone has the courage to stand up to the Jutes and the Frisians. Wait till the Romney administration is done with you, smug Danes, with your pickled herring and low Gini coefficient. I'm also looking forward to domestic policy improvements, such as a decline in incarceration rates when weregild replaces imprisonment.
Alternatively, maybe this is part of a ploy to downplay Romney's Otherness. After all, the President's mother, Ann Dunham, descends from a "seventeenth-century Pilgrim settler who emigrated from England to America as one of the founding fathers of the colony of Plymouth, Massachusetts." Makes Romney's Mexican-Cyborg heritage seem all the more foreign.
Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images/Getty Images
Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Mitt Romney, Racism, United Kingdom
Also, the magic that is/was Herman Cain, thoughts on the new season of his Comedy Central stand-up series, and a solemn promise concerning the upcoming Daily Show coverage of the RNC and DNC conventions…
"Listen, I'm not saying the British democracy is the perfect democracy either. It is also completely screwed up, but in a different way. And we at the very least spend less money and less time doing it. We have our entire campaign season over about five weeks. So, there has to be a happy medium between five weeks and one-and-a-half years." – John Oliver
John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show airs Friday nights at 11/10c.
(via HuffPo Comedy)
Tags: Citizens United v. FEC, Herman Cain, John Oliver, John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show, Money, The Daily Show, United Kingdom