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United Nations
  • Tweet Untweet: We've Heard It All Before, Mr. President

    Tags: Monica Crowley, Tweet Untweet, Twitter, United Nations
  • Allen West Submits Resume for Secretary of State

    Win, lose or draw, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has said she won't be rejoining the Obama administration after the 2012 elections. Speculation for her replacement as the nation's top diplomat has focused on Senator John Kerry, but following President Obama's speech to the U.N. General Assembly, Congressman Allen West has thrown his hat into the ring.

    In a statement on his Facebook page, West outlined how he would have dealt with roiling waves of anger washing over the Muslim world…

    My statement to the United Nations would have been, "The future does not belong to those who attack our Embassies and Consulates and kill our Ambassadors. The Angel of Death in the form of an American Bald Eagle will visit you and wreak havoc and destruction upon your existence."

    The last few weeks have been a reminder that the American right of free expression can be abused for nefarious ends, but West's remarks offer an opportunity for the United States to show the world why we value unrestricted speech so highly: If we can Samuel L. Jackson to do a dramatic reading of West's statement, I'm sure liberty will be redeemed in the eyes of the world.

    Photo by David Silverman/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Allen West, State Department, United Nations
  • Barack Obama's Private Messages to World Leaders

    President Obama will not meet with world leaders as they gather in New York for the United Nations General Assembly. Whether it's because he's too busy campaigning or because he doesn't want to create headlines, opening himself up for attack, the move is being criticized by those on the right and the left.

    What Obama's critics fail to note is that, despite being indisposed, he did take time out between television appearances to send quick messages to world leaders. We got our hands on a few of those messages, which we're now sharing with the world…

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    Tags: Barack Obama, Benjamin Netanyahu, China, David Cameron, Iran, Libya, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mitt Romney, Russia, United Kingdom, United Nations, Vladimir Putin
  • Poorer Man's Ted Nugent, Dave Mustaine Creates New Conspiracy Theory

    I know making fun of people like Ted Nugent and Dave Mustaine (of the conservative think tank Megadeth) is like shooting fish in a barrel that everyone forgot existed sometime in the '80s. Even if Dave Mustaine says something truly horrible, what is society going to take away from him that cocaine didn't take away already? Whatever it is, we're about to find out.

    TMZ reports that the poorer man's Ted Nugent is an even more ridiculous person than originally thought. Here's what he said to an audience in Singapore

    "Back in my country, my president… he's trying to pass a gun ban, so he's staging all of these murders, like the 'Fast And Furious' thing down at the border… Aurora, Colorado, all the people that were killed there… and now the beautiful people at the Sikh temple."

    He continued, "I don't know where I'm gonna live if America keeps going the way it's going because it looks like it's turning into Nazi America."

    I didn't think it was possible, but Dave Mustaine may be an even worse Romney surrogate than John Sununu.

    First of all, gun control laws are not the reason everyone hates Nazis. There's no museum memorializing the six million guns Hitler confiscated. Second of all, congratulations on coming up with an Obama conspiracy theory that makes less sense than the birther garbage.

    So, Obama's plan is to stage a bunch of shootings and then never mention gun control because it's obvious political suicide during an election year? A better conspiracy theory is that Dave Mustaine is a secret liberal working to make sure no rational conservative is ever taken seriously.

    Photo by Paul Archuleta/FilmMagic/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Dave Mustaine, Music, United Nations
  • Rio Summit Cloud of Doom Features Lining of Despair

    In 1992, world leaders gathered in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil for the United Nations Conference on Environment and Development, also known as the Earth Summit, in an air of enthusiasm, optimistic about ameliorating environmental degradation and creating a fairer, cleaner planet. Beginning tomorrow, more than 115 presidents, prime ministers and other officials are scheduled to attend Rio+20, a discussion of how badly we screwed things up.

    Barack Obama has no plans to attend the conference and Hillary Rodham Clinton will lead the American delegation, along with EPA Administrator Lisa P. Jackson and Todd Stern, a special envoy for climate change. Though little progress is expected, due in part to the intransigence of developed nations like the U.S., some environmental activists tried to look on the bright, increasingly uncomfortably warm side

    "We are facing two likely scenarios — an agreement so weak it is meaningless, or complete collapse. Neither of these options would give the world what it needs. Country positions are still too entrenched and too far apart to provide a meaningful draft agreement for approval by an expected 120 heads of state", said WWF director general Jim Leape.

    Well, good. Thanks for the pep talk. Is there any good news out there?

    The struggle for the world's remaining natural resources is becoming more murderous, according to a new report that reveals that environmental activists were killed at the rate of one a week in 2011.

    The death toll of campaigners, community leaders and journalists involved in the protection of forests, rivers and land has risen dramatically in the past three years, said Global Witness.

    Finally, someone comes up with a solution to that satisfied both Western multinationals and developing states! Just solve the overpopulation problem by murdering all those clean air-breathing, freshwater-drinking, quinoa-eating environmental activists.

    Photo by Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Brazil, Environment, Hillary Clinton, United Nations