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United Nations
  • The Daily Show on the U.S. Cutting Off Funding for UNESCO

    Hey, if this U.N. agency — that is dedicated to improving education, science, and culture conditions in developing nations — didn't want to lose all of its funding and ability to help people at a global level, it shouldn't have acknowledged that Palestine is a place that exists. So, who's really at fault here?

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    Part two of this "epic" investigative piece from John Oliver after the jump.

    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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    Tags: Afghanistan, Gabon, Israel, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Natural Disasters, Obama Administration, Palestine, Poverty, Robert Wexler, The Daily Show, UNESCO, United Nations, Video
  • Tea Party Activists Foil Evil UN Plot to Improve America

    Do you know about Agenda 21? I hadn't heard of it until late last week, but boy, were my eyes opened. While Americans go about their little lives like horses with blinders on, the United Nations is using Agenda 21 to destroy our country by making it a better place to live

    Across the country, activists with ties to the Tea Party are railing against all sorts of local and state efforts to control sprawl and conserve energy. They brand government action for things like expanding public transportation routes and preserving open space as part of a United Nations-led conspiracy to deny property rights and herd citizens toward cities.

    They are showing up at planning meetings to denounce bike lanes on public streets and smart meters on home appliances… In Maine, the Tea Party-backed Republican governor canceled a project to ease congestion along the Route 1 corridor after protesters complained it was part of the United Nations plot…

    The protests date to 1992 when the United Nations passed a sweeping, but nonbinding, 100-plus-page resolution called Agenda 21 that was designed to encourage nations to use fewer resources and conserve open land…In January, the Republican Party adopted its own resolution against what it called “the destructive and insidious nature” of Agenda 21.

    Bike lanes! High-speed rail! Energy meters! Oh my God. How dare local governments propose sensible city planning initiatives! It must be a UN plot. Everyone knows that land preservation and energy conservation are just elaborate covers for European socialism. Sure, it starts with a little harmless bikeriding, but then it's only a matter of time before you're chatting about soccer and universal health care with a subway car full of scarf-wearing men

    Cher McCoy, a Tea Party member from nearby Lexington, Va., generated sustained applause when she warned: "They get you hooked, and then Agenda 21 takes over. Your rights are stripped one by one… The real job of smart meters is to spy on you and control you."

    I suppose you can't really blame these rural conservatives for being so frightened of Big Brother. After all, given their mating patterns, Big Brother might also be Big Husband or Big Uncle.

    Tags: Conspiracies, Energy & Oil, Environment, Tea Party, United Nations
  • Stephen Colbert on Barack Obama's Singing and the U.N.'s Cocaine

    There's a lot out there to be afraid of. Like Barack Obama singing Al Green's "Let's Stay Together," which not only bodes well for his re-election prospects among voters who haven't completely died on the inside, but which also reminds a certain blogger of Bruce Willis' first scene in Pulp Fiction, which, all things considered, was too scary a movie for that certain blogger at such a young age — seriously, what was up with the Gimp? Also dolphins are helping us fight Iran and the United Nations is full of cocaine. Be afraid!

    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30/10:30c.

    Tags: Animals, Barack Obama, Cocaine, Drugs, Iran, Music, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, United Nations, Video
  • United States Ranked Exceptionally Mediocre in UN Development Index

    Anyone who has paid attention to a flag lapel pin-wearing politician in the last, oh, 200 years or so, is aware of certain truth-facts about America. We are a unique snowflake of representative democracy and economic dynamism, a shining city on a hill, the leader of the free world. Our citizens are the most productive, our culture the most vibrant, and our society…totally not resembling the Bacchanalia of the last days of Rome.

    In short, even using a crypto-communist system that weighs such gauche statistics as "life expectancy" and "mean years of schooling" alongside the more traditional Gross National Income figures, the United States must emerge as the most exceptional country that ever exceptioned on this side of the Milky Way. We're number one! Number four? Umn, top twenty?

    The United States remains the fourth best country in the world to live in, but adjustment for inequality drops it into 23rd place, according to an annual U.N. ranking of nations' development released on Wednesday…

    Oil-producing Norway, which again grabbed the top rank in the overall index — its ninth top placement in the past 11 years — was also No. 1 in the adjusted index. Australia, second in the overall human development index (HDI), was also second in the inequality-adjusted index. The Netherlands ranked third and fourth in the different measures.

    Blast you, Norway. Must be their low, flat taxes and paltry government services doing the trick. What? Oh, the one with a 10% corporate and personal income tax is 126th-ranked Kyr-kyr-gi-stan-stan? Well, we're not going to collect 41% of GDP in taxes, as Norway does, and invest the funds in quality public services. Instead, I'm going to pin my hopes on a Job Creator opening a factory producing "Still Better than Estonia!" foam fingers. We'll be back on top of the HDI charts in no time.

    Photo by Johannes Simon/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Economy, Education, Health, Norway, Taxes, United Nations
  • From the Pork Barrel: Debt and Taxes

    * Newly announced senatorial candidate Elizabeth Warren makes a somewhat simple but overlooked point: "There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody!" That's the problem with this country — even the capitalists are socialists!

    * Warren currently leads incumbent Republican Scott Brown by two points in a recent poll. But don't worry; Brown should regain the advantage once we get to the swimsuit competition.

    * Anti-government intervention, free-market Republicans ask Harvard to stop paying Elizabeth Warren's salary.

    * Barack Obama patiently explains to United Nations why United Nations is kind of useless. Wasn't quite as well received you might expect.

    * Ted Haggard is supposedly going to be on ABC's Celebrity Wife Swap. Somebody has told him that in the whole swapping business, he ends up with another wife, right?

    Tags: ABC, Barack Obama, Education, Elizabeth Warren, Haggard's Law, Israel, Massachusetts, Palestine, Polls, Pork Barrel, Scott Brown, Senate, Ted Haggard, Television, United Nations