I don't know if you've noticed, but there's been something missing in American presidential politics of late. Something of vital importance. And former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton just might be the man to bring it back…
"Yes, I am considering [running for president in 2012]," Bolton told conservative radio show host Aaron Klein's on WABC in New York. "If I did run, and I haven't made a decision, I have never run for office one way or the other, so it would be a pretty big decision to do it."
Bolton, who serves as a Fox News commentator, said he's concerned that the national discourse does not include talk of foreign policy.
That's right! I'm talking, of course, about facial hair. Not since Taft has this great nation been graced with a proper presidential mustache. (And, no, I don't count whatever that dirt was on Obama's upper lip for those few days in June.) And let's not even get into how long we've gone without a full beard or mutton chop sideburns.
Oh, man, it's been too long, hasn't it? Sure, Bolton's idea of foreign policy is waggling his dick in the face of every foreign leader. But look at that glorious stash! I cannot imagine a person better equipped to lead our country bristle-first into a shining new day. Aside from Wilford Brimley, but I have not yet heard anything about him running. (Here's hoping!)
Tags: Fashion, Fox, John Bolton, Republicans, United Nations, William Howard Taft
All the fun and hilarity of listening to NPR plus all the fun and hilarity of something actually fun and hilarious…
Former GOP chairman Ken Mehlman came out of the closet: this is old news to anyone who was smart enough to play the award-winning film MILK backwards through their VCR.
Glenn Beck's 'restoring honor' rally served as the perfect reminder that amidst confusing diversity and unsettling social complexities, at least we can all agree on one thing: God roolz.
More Tworld News after the jump…
Tags: 8/28 Rally, Arizona, Bristol Palin, Cocaine, Drugs, Energy & Oil, France, Glenn Beck, Gulf Coast, Haggard's Law, Iran, Iraq, John McCain, Ken Mehlman, LGBT, Paris Hilton, Primaries, Republicans, Senate, The Emmys, Tworld News, United Nations
Oh my God! The census form is coming from inside the house! From inside the house! Get out of there before or you'll be counted for sure! Run!!!!
The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.
Tags: Census, Glenn Beck, House of Representatives, Immigration, Michele Bachmann, Michelle Malkin, Military, Racism, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, United Nations
Oh boy, Glenn Beck's nightmare dream come true: over the weekend the New York Times published a very special episode of its editorial page in which Bono defended Barack Obama's Nobel prize, the United Nations and the warm fuzzy spirit of international cooperation. Gag me with a hammer and/or sickle! It's the news media equivalent of a grande arugula latte served with Prius-shaped biscotti made from Karl Marx's family recipe!
If only we could find a palate cleanser, something to scrub our tongues of this foul European taste… well, well, what have we here: remember when Mr. Beck introduced us to the spirit of his great-great-great-grandfather, Thomas Paine? Tom's back, and he's ready to serve up a heapin' helpin' of common sense:
Amazing stuff! I think my favorite part is at 3:10, when Tom tells us to "get on the phone" and demand "excellence" instead of "bilingual education" in schools — see how he plays it off real cool, like he's been using those magic talk-throwing boxes forever?
Tags: Barack Obama, Bono, Conservatives, New York Times, Thomas Paine, United Nations, Video
With all the recent hoopla over last week's United Nations circus still fresh in people's minds and Mike Huckabee's thoughtful suggestion of floating the U.N. building over to Saudi Arabia lingering fragrantly in the air, we thought it would be a good idea to look up some of The Daily Show's best U.N. moments…
Showdown at the U.N. Corral
More clips after the jump…
The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11pm / 10c.
Tags: Aasif Mandvi, Bill O'Reilly, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Kim Jong Il, Lewis Black, Muammar Qaddafi, Sarah Palin, The Daily Show, United Nations, Video