Latest Posts

  • Quote Unquote: Get the Hell Off the Beach!

    New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie brings back his infamous "Get the hell off the beach!" yelp from last year, but with a new conservative twist


    "You tell them, if you see them on the beach, you tell them, 'Get the hell off the beach and get back to Trenton and vote for my tax cut. Right now.'"


    Not terrible as far as political catch phrases go. I'd rank it somewhere between "Yes we can!" and "Where's the beef?"

    Plus, it's useful if you're campaign during a shark attack.

    Tags: Chris Christie, New Jersey, Quote Unquote, Taxes, Vacation
  • Rick Santorum Disapproves of Malia Obama's Spring Break Trip

    Real-life Church Lady Rick Santorum has a lot of opinions about what girls should and shouldn't do. They shouldn't have sex or take birth control and should be home-schooled.

    And of course, they shouldn't go to Mexico for spring break

    On Tuesday"s Glenn Beck program, Rick Santorum responded to the news that the president allowed his 13-year-old daughter, Malia, to vacation in Mexico, despite a recent State Department travel warning for the country. According to Santorum, the president should be leading by example.

    "What I would say is that the president's actions should reflect what his administration is saying," Santorum told Beck. "If the administration is saying that it"s not safe to have people down there, then just because you can send 25 Secret Service agents doesn"t mean you should do it. You should set an example."

    Rick Santorum is just afraid that something dangerous could happen to Americans on vacation in the Spanish-speaking Americas, like learning to speak Spanish.

    Or getting photographed without a shirt on.

    Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Hispanic, Malia Obama, Mexico, Rick Santorum, Vacation
  • Mitt Romney's Hilarious New Google Problem

    When you hear the name Romney, a few words come to mind: robot, millionaire, flip-flopper, Massachusetts, hair.

    And now, there's a new one. Dog Diarrhea

    Yes, it's a little bit immature, but search "Romney" on Google and you'll see high up on your results (right behind Mitt Romney's Wikipedia page this morning; image below) with this definition:

    "1. To defecate in terror 2. Former Governor Mitt Romney." This is a reference to "Crate-Gate," the story of how Romney's dog Seamus reacted to being strapped to the roof of the candidate's car…

    Google's algorithm depends a lot on popularity. And Spreading Romney's 3,416 Facebook "likes", 1261 Tweets, coupled with shoutouts from sites like New York's Daily Intel and Romney's not-so-solid inevitability as of late all helped it climb up the Google results chart.

    Poor Mitt. After three major losses in the Midwest, a near loss to Ron Paul in Maine and a precipitous drop in the polls in his native Michigan, the former governor is now literally getting shit on by his critics.

    Read More »

    Tags: Animals, Google, Internet, Mitt Romney, Puppies!, Rick Santorum, Scatology, Vacation
  • President Obama Releases Turtle Terrorists

    During his 2008 campaign, President Obama repeatedly promised to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay and make greater strides toward transparency and humane treatment of foreign detainees.

    Then he actually became president and realized what a political nightmare that would be. But it looks like he may have changed his mind, at least about the prisoners at Hawaii's Hanauma Bay

    This year, the president and his family released four green sea turtles into the bay’s clear blue water. The 18-month-old turtles were born at Sea Life Park, a nearby marine sanctuary and aquarium that boasts of being the only place in the U.S. that raises green sea turtles in captivity.

    The president and his daughters, Malia and Sasha, enjoyed their turtle experience so much that they decided to make a stop at Sea Life Park later in the day.

    With sectarian violence on the rise again in Iraq, the Taliban securing their hold over Afghanistan and Islamist groups gaining momentum throughout the Arab world, Obama's decision to release four highly dangerous sea turtle detainees is simply outrageous and a grave threat to national reptile security.

    You heard it here first: Obama is soft on turtle terrorism. Sure, the President and his daughters are giggling at all the turtle fun now, but they won't be laughing when those four radicalized sea turtles return to launch a coordinated shell attack against our military's fleet of Mario Karts.

    Photo by Kent Nishimura/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Animals, Barack Obama, Guantanamo Bay, Hawaii, Terrorism, Vacation
  • Gripping Footage of President Obama Caught in Great Earthquake of Aught-Eleven

    Years from now, when your grandchildren ask you where you were for The Great Earthquake of Aught-Eleven, what will you say? Me? I'll say, "On my couch in Chicago, maybe kinda sorta feeling something possibly but probably not."

    As for the President? The 5.9 magnitude earthquake — that originated in Virgina and shook the East Coast causing damage to the Pentagon and the National Cathedral in Washington D.C. — found him on a Martha's Vineyard gold course where, luckily, a team of reporters were standing-by to catch the heart-racing excitement

    Okay, granted. The full drama of the moment probably wasn't apparent in that clip. But it's a lot scarier and more suspenseful if you do what I did and replay it again but while shaking your laptop. Whoa! Did you see that one tree? It looked like it might have been getting ready to fall down and crush the President. Yikes!

    And what was up with that phone call the president made afterward? That was probably some serious national security earthquake related business, don't you think? I'm almost certain of it.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Golf, Martha's Vineyard, Natural Disasters, Sports, Vacation, Virginia