* Kid President gets executive on the laws of love.
* A pragmatic approach to affairs of the heart, from Aziz Ansari.
* Team Coco is bowled over by Marco Rubio's gaffe.
* Some Valentine's Day cards that are as funny as they are sad.
* Jen Kirkman as Abbie Hoffman on the Dead Authors Podcast.
* If dating worked like college applications, it would be pretty helpful.
* Thankfully, the origin of "wearing your heart on your sleeve" isn't literal.
* Barenaked Ladies beat me to it: The first ever space-to-earth musical collaboration.
Tags: Abbie Hoffman, Conan O'Brien, Daily Links, Jen Kirkman, Marriage, Marriage Equality, Men and Women, Paul F Tompkins, Space, Valentine's Day
Someone forgot to tell the Illinois General Assembly the real meaning of Valentine's Day: spending too much money at the behest of the faux-emotion industry, gnawing on chocolate and whittling away at single people's self-esteems.
Instead of doing any of those things, the Illinois State Senate passed a marriage equality bill with 34 in favor, 21 opposed and 2 present. How dare they do something so meaningful? It's like no one respects the commercialism of the holiday any more!
The debate was dominated by questions about protections for religious institutions, because the sanctity of old codgers whining about the fabric of society is still very much secure. In the end, however, a majority of Illinois state senators decided that if you can't trust fabric to the gays, you can't trust anyone. The bill now moves to the Illinois House, which is expected to pass the measure, right after it polishes off this box of Russell Stovers.
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Illinois, LGBT, Marriage, Marriage Equality, Valentine's Day
Roses are red, violets are blue, but if you're a nerd who knows they're actually violet, Valentine's Day is not the holiday for you.
Good thing there are so many other occasions to celebrate if you're not falling for the romance-industrial complex:
Mark Wilson/Getty Images News/Getty Images
On this day in 1899, Congress approved the use of voting machines for use in federal elections. Mark the occasion by standing for three hours in the line of your choice.
David McNew/Getty Images News/Getty Images
On this day in 1912, Arizona became the 48th state. Celebrate by asking Arizona to show its statehood certificate.
Lintao Zhang/Getty Images News/Getty Images
The United States Department of Commerce and Labor was established on this day in 1903. Celebrate by learning the name of the (Acting) Secretary of Commerce. Hint: it's not Gary Locke any more!
Mario Tama/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Today is Mayor Michael Bloomberg's 71st birthday. You're allowed to eat 71 hot dogs in celebration, but you'll have to wash them down with an eight-ounce soda.
National Archives/Getty Images
James K. Polk became the first president to have his photograph taken on this day in 1849. Commemorate the moment with an Instagram of all those hot dogs you ate for Bloomberg's birthday.
A Special Valentine for Hillary Fans
Top photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Arizona, Department of Commerce, History, Michael Bloomberg, Valentine's Day
* This isn't creepy at all.
* Arizona has some weird laws: NSFW.
* The Trumans' story. Perfect Valentine's Day reading.
* A Montana TV station warns everyone about a zombie attack.
* Who said it: Charles Manson or Ted Nugent? Frankly, it's hard to tell.
* President Obama gets some much-needed advice for tonight's SOTU.
* If you haven't gotten enough of the Petraeus scandal, here's a new book.
* You might not want to play golf during a thunderstorm, Pope-for-Now Benedict.
Tags: Charles Darwin, Charles Manson, Daily Links, David Petraeus, Energy & Oil, Evolution, Harry S. Truman, Montana, Pope Benedict XVI, State of the Union, Valentine's Day, Zombies