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Veepstakes
  • Chris Christie Was Not Willing to Gamble N.J. on Romney

    A lot of people would give the whole wide world to be the vice presidential nominee for Republican Party. Chris Christie, however, wasn't even willing to give up that small weird-smelling area under New York

    Romney's top aides had demanded Christie step down as the state's chief executive because if he didn't, strict pay-to-play laws would have restricted the nation's largest banks from donating to the campaign — since those banks do business with New Jersey.

    But Christie adamantly refused to sacrifice his post, believing that being Romney's running mate wasn't worth the gamble.

    "[Christie] felt, at one point, that [President] Obama could lose this. And, look, there still is that chance. But he knows, right now, you have to say it's unlikely," one source said.

    Hey, maybe I'm partial because I'm from New Jersey, but I totally get where Christie is coming from here. Hear me out.

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    Tags: Chris Christie, Mitt Romney, New Jersey, Veepstakes
  • State Department Denies Hillary Clinton Veep Rumors with Awful Poetry

    With highly-placed Democratic strategists Sarah Palin and John McCain advising President Barack Obama to replace Joe Biden with Hillary Clinton, it was well past time for The Weekly Standard to join in the concern trolling.

    TWS reporter Daniel Halper has been all over this "story," causing State Department spokesman and Hillary Clinton confidant Philippe Reines to send him this missive, dismissing "reports" that Clinton and White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett met to discuss a VP switcharoo

    "This did not happen
    "They did not have lunch
    "They did not have any meal
    "They did not meet this month
    "They did not meet last month
    "They did not meet in 2012
    "They did not meet in 2011, 2010, 2009
    "This is not happening
    "Truth is that Ed Klein is an idiot with not a shred of credibility
    "Truth is that Ed Klein's motto is 'If at first you don't succeed, lie lie again.'"

    Halper interprets this as Reines channeling "his inner Dr. Seuss," though there's only the vaguest resemblance to Green Eggs and Ham and no evidence suggesting Reines was trying to write anything but free verse. In the same email chain, White House spokesman Tommy Vietor sent Halper a link to this animated video of a man beating a dead horse, which Halper did not initially understand as a reference to his credulous stories about a Clinton vice-presidential nomination.

    In any case, either the State Department press office or The Weekly Standard needs a lesson in what poetry looks like, so here's a limerick that admittedly would not pass muster with Theodor Giesel…

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    Tags: Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Media, Veepstakes, Weekly Standard
  • Paul Ryan Puts Mitt Romney on the Path to Prosperity

    On Saturday, Mitt Romney's VP App announced Paul Ryan as the Republican vice presidential candidate/future Dancing with the Stars contestant, only about seven hours after the news broke on Twitter.

    Then, another app told us that Ryan's claim to fame was a budget plan that would restructure Medicare into a voucher program, cut discretionary spending to laughably low levels and turn Medicaid into a "block grant" program, so named because it grants states authority to replace the pricey health insurance program for the poor with a large concrete block that says, "Suck on it, moochers," to be placed in front of shuttered public health clinics. This "app" is also known as Paul Ryan's mouth.

    So why did Romney select Ryan? As blue-eyed stimulus for the flash fic writing industry? As a way to excite a conservative base still unenthusiastic about the top of the ticket? No, speaking at the NASCAR Technical Institute — a place that really exists in North Carolina — Romney told an enthusiastic crowd that he picked Ryan because he was a Washington outsider.

    "His career ambition was not to go to Washington," Romney said. "That is not what he wanted to do, but he became concerned about what was happening in the country and wanted to get America back on track. And so he put aside the plans he had for his career and said, 'I'm going to go and serve.'"

    I just hate when career ambitions are derailed like that. Doesn't it suck when, right after college, you go to work for Jack Kemp's think tank, Empower America, before successfully running for a Wisconsin House seat at 28 years old? What a weird, freakishly accidental way to get into politics.

    So perhaps there's something else about Ryan, besides his accident-prone path from the private sector to a lifetime of service in D.C., that makes him an attractive nominee…

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    Tags: Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Taxes, Veepstakes
  • Who Is Rob Portman? [GALLERY]

    Little is known about Rob Portman, possible GOP vice presidential nominee. Where does he come from? What's his family like? How can anyone deserve less media attention than Tim Pawlenty?

    We've got the answers, sort of. Just see for yourself.

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    Rob Portman

    In whatever year, Rob Portman became a congressman from somewhere near the middle of the union.

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    See the full gallery here!

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    Photo by Paul J. Richards/AFP/Getty Images


    Tags: Rob Portman, Veepstakes
  • Mitt Romney to Announce VP Pick Via Mobile App


    Mitt Romney has announced his running mate, and to no one's surprise the lucky being is an Android mobile app.

    Err, perhaps I misread the news. Actually, Romney has released a new mobile app, available for Android and iOS, where he will collect personal user data before eventually notifying his supporters of his choice for vice president. Users can sign up for push notifications to hear the news full seconds before it floods their Twitter feed.

    It's a vast improvement over VP announcements of yore. In 2008, the selection of Joe Biden was sent via text message, though most people still learned the news through network television. Except possibly on NBC, where viewers are still waiting for the announcement. If by 2016 the announcement of Julian Castro or George P. Bush as vice presidential candidate is not beamed directly into my brain via an Obamacare-mandated microchip, then we're clearly experiencing a great stagnation in innovation and will have failed as a nation and a people.

    As for the current bleeding-edge standard in VP announcement technology, the Mitt's VP App (alternative names: Cut the Hope, Angry Elephants, Willards with Friends) features a beige-on-beige color scheme and a cheery Gilded Age typeface. It's really the most 2012 way of saying we should go back to 1890. Can't wait to hear who the next Amercian vice president may be!


    Tags: Mitt Romney, Science & Technology, Veepstakes