Here is a thing which makes perfect sense…
It's funny, me and my friends were just talking the other day about how somebody needed to make a video just like that. I hope somebody didn't overhear us talking and steal our idea.
On second thought, I suppose this was just bound to happen. It's kind of an obvious idea.
Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Dmitry Medvedev, Hillary Clinton, Japan, Kim Jong Il, Music, Pope Benedict XVI, Vladimir Putin, Yukio Hatoyama
Call them what you will — puppets, dummies, inanimate objects being controlled by more powerful forces — but they control the world in which we live. Or, to be more precise, they are controlled into controlling the world in which we live.
Puppet Puppeteer Performance . . . Russian President Dmitry Medvedev Former Russian President and Current Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin A lifelong bureaucrat and world class yes man, he turned out to be ideally suited for sit down and being quiet while his former boss rerouted Russian political power to through the Prime Minister's office. . . . Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Ayatollah Ali Khamenei Main responsibilities include Holocaust denial, lying about nuclear experimentation and not getting in way of Ayatollah's subjugate citizenry. . . . Fox News The Republican Party The network has traditionally functioned mainly as the GOP's Ministry of Information, but its duties have recently expanded to include planning and executing grass roots public protests. . . . U.S. Congress Anyone willing to pay for dinner Anything you want them to do. Seriously, anything. Just so long as you're picking up the check and they can order another round. . . . Barack Obama The reanimated corpse of former President Franklin Roosevelt Continue plan to bring about the end of Western civilization, supply FDR with fresh brains twice a week.
For more-entertaining, less-politically-damaging puppets, tune into the new Comedy Central series The Jeff Dunham Show premiering this Thursday, October 22 at 9pm / 8c.
Tags: Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Barack Obama, Dmitry Medvedev, Fox, Franklin Roosevelt, House of Representatives, Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Republicans, Russia, Senate, Socialism, Vladimir Putin
As if we needed any more proof that Barack Obama is a not-so-secret communist pawn, he actually traveled back to his ideological home in Russia to pick up orders for the next four years. (And he thought we wouldn't notice.)
In an effort to educate our citizens of the dangers of The Big Cold Bear (or whatever they call it), here's ten years worth of The Daily Show reports — seven in all (in honor of how many shots of vodka I can drink before I die) — on Russia…
1. Russo-Georgian Conflict
Tags: John Oliver, Jon Stewart, Russia, The Daily Show, Vladimir Putin
Barack Obama is off to a pretty sissy start in his cabinet selections. If he isn't appointing girlie men to important positions, he's appointing actual girls. You think a ripped foreign strongman like Vladimir Putin is going to respect that?
If only there were a way to add a little heft to this cabinet. Nothing too drastic, just some awesome pecs, rock-solid abs and maybe a co-starring role with Sinbad, if that isn't too much to ask.
Could anyone possibly fit that description?
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke to President-elect Barack Obama this week and would be willing to work for the Democratic administration once his term expires if asked, the Republican governor said in an interview broadcast this morning…
The governor has deflected rumors that he would leave his job before his term ends in two years to work for Obama, although he has left a bit of wiggle room in recent interviews. He told Fox, "I want to finish my term as governor because there's a lot of different challenges ahead." But he did not flatly reject an early departure.
It isn't immediately clear what position might suit Schwarzenegger, but the possibilities are vast, including…
* EPA Administrator (Hummer Division).
* Ambassador to the Kennedys.
* Conan the Secretary of Agriculture.
* Kindergarten Attorney General.
Of course, if the Governator were to really join the cabinet, he'd have to submit to Obama's now infamous vetting process.
So hopefully, out of the reported 63 questions, none of them reads: "Have you ever abused steroids, denied that marijuana is a drug, participated in orgies, or groped your female aides, forcing you to apologize via mass media?"
Because if that's on there, he might not get the gig.
Tags: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barack Obama, California, Vladimir Putin
You have to hand it to George W. Bush. The man knows how to take a tough stance.
As it became clear that Russia's military attack on Georgia was only going to intensify, he knew he had to take action and protect our out-gunned ally. So he did literally everything in his power to help out the pro-Western democracy that is one of our few remaining friends in the world.
That's right: he pulled aside Vladimir Putin during brunch…
President George Bush and Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin discussed the conflict in Georgia, the White House confirmed.
Both men were attending the opening of the Summer Olympics in the Chinese capital and spoke during a luncheon hosted by Chinese President Hu Jintao. White House spokesman Tony Fratto did not provide any additional details.
Unfortunately, by the time the two men were finished talking, someone else had already eaten all of President Hu's spectacular deviled eggs.
Bush's great efforts seem to have been well worth it, as Russia appears to have halted military actions. And it's all thanks to George Bush's selflessness and lunchtime diplomacy.
Tags: China, George W. Bush, Georgia, Olympics, Russia, Vladimir Putin