Racists Sure Love Totally Non-Racist Voter ID Laws

Some of the wildest cheers during last night's Republican National Convention came during South Carolina Nikki Haley's remarks, comparing the state's voter identification law — currently blocked by the Department of Justice — with the purchase of Sudafed…

We said in South Carolina that if you have to show a picture ID to buy Sudafed and you have to show a picture ID to set foot on an airplane, then you should have to show a picture ID to protect one of the most valuable, most central, most sacred rights we are blessed with in America — the right to vote. And what happened? President Obama stopped us.

Electing politicians and buying anti-decongestants do have something in common, in that both promise to make things better, but mostly leave you drowsy. On the other hand, I don't remember reading about the Sudafed marches of the 1960s. All the historical evidence must be in the very obscure Letter from a Birmingham Meth Lab that Dr. King wrote in one of his low moments…

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Tags: Nikki Haley, Racism, Republican National Convention, South Carolina, Voter Suppression

Rolling Across the Aisle Laughing, Week 2

Welcome to week 2 of RAAL (Rolling Across the Aisle Laughing)! Last week we pitted a conservative joke against a liberal one and asked you, our readers, to vote for the best one. Even though we didn't pass any new voter ID laws or rezone our comments section, turnout was dismal. With one vote, the winner was the conservative joke, written by @AlinskyDefeater. Congratulations!

This week we have another round for you to judge, and another plea to vote with your sense of humor, not your sense of partisan obligation. YES WE CAN laugh at ourselves.

Week 2:

IN THE LEFT CORNER

Rush Limbaugh loved Mitt Romney's birther joke. That's like John Wayne Gacy raving about one of your clown paintings.

— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) August 24, 2012

IN THE RIGHT CORNER

Mitt added, "President Obama and I have our differences – I try to avoid caffeine, don't drink much soda, stay away from coke, you know."

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) August 24, 2012

Tags: Conservatives, Liberals, RAAL, Saul Alinsky, Twitter, Voter Suppression

Ohio Election Officials Not Even Trying to Hide Their Politics Anymore

Remember back when politicians used talk all fancy and whatnot to try to dazzle you out of understanding that they were trying to screw you over? It was annoying, but at least I felt like I was getting a show.

Now, it seems they're not even trying to try to make the effort. Quite frankly, I feel dirty…

"I guess I really actually feel we shouldn’t contort the voting process to accommodate the urban — read African-American — voter-turnout machine," said Doug Preisse, chairman of the county Republican Party and elections board member who voted against weekend hours, in an email to The Dispatch. "Let's be fair and reasonable."

I don't know what I find more offensive in that quote, that this guy considers making polling places accessible to more eligible voters to be a contortion of Democracy, or that he that he's too dumb to even attempt to hide his bigotry. Dude, this is what they invented code words for! They made up the word "urban" so that people like you wouldn't have to say "African-American."

It'd be like saying, "My brother is a little artistic. And by 'artistic,' I mean homosexual. And by 'homosexual,' I mean that he likes to have sex with other men. And by 'sex with other men,' I mean–" We got it! We got it! You can put away the easel and the pointer, the diagrams are superfluous.

Tags: Ohio, Voter Suppression

From the Pork Barrel: The Amazing Lingua-Man

* Barack Obama would be the lamest superhero ever. He doesn't even want the ability to speak with fish. He essentially wants the ability to speak with cabdrivers.

* Alright, people! In this new modern age of reason, we can't afford let just anybody vote simply because they're U.S. citizens. Those freewheelin' liberal days of the Jim Crow laws are over!

* Mitt Romney seems to be going hard for the that guy that's in every office meeting vote.

* In case you're wondering, there's zero hard feelings between the Romney family and the Obama family. Just look at this sweet gesture from Ann and her sons.

* Download our free iPhone and iPad app Indecision Election Companion and jump up into the the Peanut Gallery — our liveblog/instant reaction arena — to watch and respond with us as ABC's This Week with George Stephanopoulos keeps it light with a special discussion on the impended bankruptcy of the United States.

Photo by Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images

Tags: ABC, Barack Obama, Economy, Pork Barrel, Tennessee, Voter Suppression

The Daily Show on 2012's Exciting New Voter Suppression Efforts

Since the beginning of this noble experiment we call Democracy, we have been plagued by a single pervasive problem: How do you keep Democracy from occurring? Today's political scientists are getting closer to solving this issue.

Coverage continues with Ohio's brilliant new plan to keep voters from voting after the jump.

The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

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Tags: Jon Stewart, Ohio, Pennsylvania, State Legislature, The Daily Show, Video, Voter Suppression