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Wall Street
  • Sexy Ladies Needed for Insider Trading Scheme

    Think there aren't enough jobs for recent college grads In These Tough Economic Times? Think again. Some intrepid soul has taken to to prove naysayers wrong with the ad above.

    If you are a "beautiful, sophisticated" lady with a "sense of adventure," this totally above-board professional is willing to hire you to seduce businessmen in hopes of "extracting key pieces of information." Thanks, Obama!

    I know "Do they offer a matching 401(k) plan?" is every potential applicant's first question, because thinking about the future is important when facing a potential prison term. Sadly, there's no mention of benefits. But CNBC's John Carney does lay out some of the legal pitfalls with becoming a secret sex agent:

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    Tags: Economy, Men and Women, Sex, Unemployment, Wall Street
  • The Daily Show Correspondents Explain Wall Street

    Wall Street, where all of America's super villains find gainful employment…

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    The Daily Show airs Monday through Thursday at 11/10c.

    Tags: Aasif Mandvi, Economy, Jason Jones, John Oliver, Money, Samantha Bee, TDS Correspondents Explain, Wall Street, Wyatt Cenac
  • Our Endorsements: Vetting Veeps with UCB

    * UCB's NSFW video showing the vetting process for Governor Christie.

    * Wall Street is still pretty skittish, from The Onion.

    One woman's story about what it was like to meet William Jefferson Clinton.

    * Rooftop Comedy's interview with Erin Judge notes the politics of sexuality.

    * Many, many examples of Mitt Romney looking longingly at someone.

    * Martha Stewart's blog profiles the crafty work of The Colbert Report's Brendan Hurley.

    Tags: Bill Clinton, BuzzFeed, Chris Christie, Daily Links, LGBT, Mitt Romney, Music, The Colbert Report, The Onion, vice president, Wall Street
  • Wall Street Disappointed with Return on Investment in Barack Obama

    barack obama profileIn 2008, Barack Obama received $43 million from professionals in the financial industry, a record intake. And what did the titans of Wall Street get in return?

    A continuation of Bush-era policies that propped up ailing banks with billions in taxpayer dollars? Milquetoast financial sector reform that neither broke up large banks nor limited their ability to simultaneously engage in investment and commercial lending? A return to record corporate profits, especially in the finance sector?

    Okay, yes, they got all of those things. But also, the president once off-handedly referred to Wall Street executives as "fat cats," so seasoned investors have decided to diversify asset classes. Team Democrat was once a spunky small-cap value stock with a lot of upside potential, but now it's time to return to the old blue chip Republican brand. Indeed, Mitt Romney's presidential campaign and its technically-unaffiliated Super PAC are outraising Obama among financial-sector donors $37.1 million to $4.8 million

    Near the front of the pack are 19 Obama donors from 2008 who are giving big to Romney.

    The 19 have already given $4.8 million to Romney’s presidential campaign and the super PAC supporting it through the end of April, according to a Politico analysis of Federal Election Commission filings. Four years ago, they gave Obama $213,700.

    None of them has given a penny to the president's reelection campaign or the super PAC supporting it.

    I'm pretty sure the next step is to bundle all the under-performing assets together — all the Democrats who voted in favor of Dodd-Frank, maybe Elizabeth Warren, a few upstart governors — and resell them to other industries that are less savvy about their portfolio.

    Photo by Kristoffer Tripplaar-Pool/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Money, Wall Street
  • Somewhat Frequently Asked Questions About the JPMorgan Fail

    There's been a lot of talk lately about the losses incurred by JPMorgan. What exactly happened?

    Bruno Iksil, a trader employed by JPMorgan in its London office, placed large bets on the health of  bonds issued by large corporations. In essence, Iksil wagered on the proposition that "investment grade" bonds issued by companies like CBS and Freddie Mac would never default, by issuing credit default swaps and selling them to rival financial institutions. These swaps would only pay off in the event of a default in the underlying bonds.

    The sheer size of Iksil's bets led market participants to dub him the "London whale."


    Was that name engineered so that comedy writers could make Fail Whale jokes in the event the bets turned out poorly for JPMorgan?



    Are these questions really asked frequently?



    Okay. These bets were a worse kept secret than the fact that Secret Service agents like hookers. In fact, they weren't secret at all. So why is this news now?

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    Tags: JPMorgan Chase, Money, Wall Street