Barack Obama Rallies His White Coat Puppets

What the… it's not Halloween yet, why is the White House press corps dressed up in lab coats? And why have they replaced their big, fancy cameras with smaller, less-fancy cameras? Oh no, my mistake. These people gathered on the White House lawn are doctors, actual experts of health care.

Or are they, Fox News?

The doctor made a White House call Monday — 150 of them, in fact, all costumed in white hospital coats — to try to help President Obama administer a booster shot to his ailing health care reform drive.

Yes, "costumed," almost as if this were some sort of "staged event," the kind of thing presidents rarely — if ever — do. Let us turn now to the Washington Post's theater review…

Obama said little new about his signature domestic policy initiative, but he used the choreographed event to put some momentum behind reform proposals taking shape in Congress. The key Senate Finance Committee may vote this week on its version of health-care reform legislation.

The roughly 150 doctors assembled wore white lab coats under the brilliant fall sun, some sheepishly carrying them under their arms as they made their way to the folding chairs. In opening his remarks, Obama called them "spiffy."

Not only is this "doctor drama" less exciting than Clooney-era ER, it is also completely invalid as a political statement, because those doctors ambled around that lawn on Barack Obama's invitation, not Glenn Beck's, q.e.d.

Tags: Barack Obama, Fox, Glenn Beck, Health Care, Washington Post

Energy Expert Sarah Palin Wrote an Op-Ed! With Words and Everything!

The Washington Post, a private Evite service, has some very linkworthy bait on its editorial page this morning: 600-plus words from Alaska governor Sarah Palin on a hot-button topic, "quitting." Ha! Whoops, see, this is why real news outlets have copyeditors.

I didn't mean "quitting." I meant "cap-and-trade." Ugh, take three. Of course I meant "cap-and-tax." Well here, Governor Palin explains it all for you…

There is no denying that as the world becomes more industrialized, we need to reform our energy policy and become less dependent on foreign energy sources. But the answer doesn't lie in making energy scarcer and more expensive! Those who understand the issue know we can meet our energy needs and environmental challenges without destroying America's economy.

Why is Nobama hell-bent on destroying our economy! What's in it for him! I guess he just gets some kind of sick pleasure from seeing everyone suffer!

Even Warren Buffett, an ardent Obama supporter, admitted that under the cap-and-tax scheme, "poor people are going to pay a lot more for electricity."

Warren Buffett did say that, and he is rich, so he must be right. The Congressional Budget Office thought otherwise, but the CBO is not rich, so screw them.

This op-ed has not found religion yet.

We must move in a new direction. We are ripe for economic growth and energy independence if we responsibly tap the resources that God created right underfoot on American soil.

I will forgive Sarah Palin for taking eleven paragraphs to get to God, but only because she knows more about energy than probably anyone else in the United States of America.

Tags: Christianity, Energy & Oil, Sarah Palin, Washington Post

David Plouffe Speaks Off the Record at National Press Club, Possibly on the Record Alone in His Bathroom

For future reference, if you ever find yourself being the wunderkind strategist of the most inspiring, historic and transparent U.S. president of a generation and then you agree to speaking at the National Press Club, you might want to consider not banning the National Press from watching you speak that their Club.

It just kinda sorta makes you look like a tool…

Plouffe was listed as the keynote speaker at the luncheon yesterday for "Transition 2009," sponsored by Georgetown University and Politico. The public was invited to the event — students free of charge and everybody else for a fee. But at the last minute, Georgetown announced that Plouffe's speech would be "closed press," even though the speech was being given in the National Press Club ballroom, described on a plaque at the door as "the sanctum sanctorum of American journalists."

National Press Club President Donna Leinwand fired off an e-mail to Plouffe and his agents stating her "strong opposition" to the press banishment from its own club. "If Mr. Plouffe wants to keep secrets," she said, "Mr. Plouffe should stay at home."

The Washington Post's Dana Milbank (definitely the ugliest female reporter I've seen in a while) was having none of it…

For what it's worth, the National Press Club comes off looking just as douchey.

Tags: David Plouffe, Washington Post

From the Pork Barrel: Goodbye White House, Hello Roadhouse

* What if George Bush and Ron Paul were the stars of a comic book adaptation of the movie Roadhouse from 1989? Yeah, but what if?

* Playing poker with Harry Reid has got to be the best money-making enterprise ever invented.

* Turns out that it was Tina Fey and Katie Couric who were the ones exploiting Sarah Palin's manufactured image as a down-home hockey mom maverick. You owe me a Coke.

* The Washington Post is calling Barack Obama "Nixonian" — conservatives, liberals alike despair for appropriate reaction.

* Barack Obama decides to keep yet another Bush appointee on staff.

* Politico: "Daschle floats through Senate hearing" — Sounds to me like somebody needs to call a paranormalist.

Tags: Barack Obama, CBS, George W. Bush, Harry Reid, Katie Couric, Pork Barrel, Richard Nixon, Ron Paul, Sarah Palin, Saturday Night Live, Senate, Tina Fey, Washington Post

Obama Stimulus Plan in Effect

Barack Obama had only been President-Elect for all of eight hours and his economic stimulus package was already working its magic… at least in the newspaper industry.

For years, newspaper sales had been plummeting all around the country. It seemed that today's news consumers simply preferred getting the latest information from newfangled media sources like TV and brilliant, cutting-edge websites.

But all of that changed Wednesday morning when America woke up after Obama's historic victory and decided to revive a dying industry. They snapped up every copy of the newspaper in sight, causing the following to happen…

* The Washington Post printed an additional 700,000 copies over Wednesday and Thursday in order to meet demand that had thousands of people lined up outside of their headquarters.

* Bidding on EBay skyrocketed to $590 for a copy of Wednesday's New York Times. (The crossword puzzle had been left intact, making it especially valuable.)

* Even the Daily Oklahoman, dubbed "the worst newspaper in America" by the Columbia Journalism Review, and previously best known for its infamous "You Have Cancer" series, sold out.

* A man in Bellingham, Washington bought 10,000 copies of the Bellingham Herald in the hopes of selling them to finance his retirement.

Meanwhile in Detroit, seeking to cash in on the election-fueled economic burst, desperate automakers announced plans to ramp up production of the Obamamobile.

Tags: Barack Obama, Michigan, New York Times, Oklahoma, Washington, Washington Post