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Washington Times
  • John Brennan in Trouble for Knowing Arabic

    To date, most of the opposition to President Obama's nomination of John Brennan to serve as the next director of the CIA has come from liberals, who argue that Brennan's  defense of arbitrary detention and unlimited drone warfare should disqualify him from such a post. They see him as another David Petraeus, but with a face that says, "I will definitely not be the subject of a sex scandal."

    Nevertheless, it wouldn't be an Obama nomination without some opposition from the right. Writing in the Washington Times — the newspaper whose sole positive purpose is to remind the Atlantic of what can happen when you get bought out by a cult — Frank Gaffney comes up with the most creative reason to oppose Brennan…

    Mr. Brennan is a textbook example of a U.S. official who has "gone native." He speaks Arabic and was formerly the top CIA officer in Saudi Arabia. He has shown himself to be deeply sympathetic to Islamists — for example, excusing and dissembling about their commitment to jihad and the necessity of not offending them.

    Yes, knowing anything at all about your subject brief is now grounds for suspicion. Of course, Gaffney's theory explains how the Bush administration selected its cabinet-level officials. They had to pick horse expert Michael "heckuva job" Brown to lead FEMA because if Bush had selected someone with actual experience in disaster management, that would have suggested the nominee was pro-hurricane.

    Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images News/Getty Images

    Tags: CIA, Islam, John Brennan, Washington Times
  • Washington Times Imagines Harry Reid and Tim Kaine at a Country-Style Restaurant

    Editors at hyper-conservative Moonie rag the Washington Times were so upset by Harry Reid's "Negro dialect" comment that they devoted today's op-ed page to the controversy, because no matter how embarrassing the national dialogue becomes, we can always take it one step further.

    Their "editorial" is a terribly offensive exercise entitled "Harry Reid and Tim Kaine at the Cracker Barrel," and this is how it opens

    I cain't believe all the fuss that's been kicked up over what I said about th' president not bein' like a reg'lar Negro.


    Lawks a mercy, I was complimentin' the man.

    Of course, to be fair, this is no more offensive than the Washington Times op-ed page normally is.

    Tags: Harry Reid, Racism, Tim Kaine, Washington Times
  • Hey, Wait a Minute, Health Care Reform Isn't in the Constitution!

    We've been so wrapped up in the details of health care reform — public options, optional public options, robust public options, public options with a trigger, public options with optional bucket seats, etc. — that we have completely forgotten the most important question of all time: Is any of this even in the Constitution? Anywhere?

    The Washington Times is on the case

    Does the U.S. Constitution allow the government to require uninsured Americans to buy medical insurance or impose a tax penalty if they refuse? Congress has never before required citizens to purchase any good or service, but that is what both House and Senate health bills would mandate.

    House Speaker Nancy Pelosi dismissed the complaint Thursday when she was asked by a reporter if the Democrats' health reform proposal was constitutional.

    "Are you serious? Are you serious?" Mrs. Pelosi replied.

    No, Nancy Pelosi, are you serious about the Constitution? Is anyone around here serious about the Constitution?

    House Minority Leader John A. Boehner said the argument could not be ignored. "I'm not a lawyer, and I'm certainly not a constitutional lawyer, but I think it's wrong to mandate that the American people have to do anything," he told reporters at his own press briefing last week.

    Fuck yes, John Boehner! That's what I'm talking about!

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta grab the license I don't have and drive my uninsured car the wrong way down this one-way street, because my 18-year-old brother needs a ride home from refusing to register with the Selective Service System.

    Tags: Constitution, Health Care, John Boehner, Nancy Pelosi, Washington Times
  • Stephen Colbert Demands to Be Named Worst Person in the World

    Whose job does a basic cable host have to stroke to get on Keith Olbermann's Worst Person in the World list these days?

    The Colbert Report airs Monday through Thursday at 11:30pm / 10:30c.

    Tags: Argentina, Fox, Keith Olbermann, Mark Sanford, MSNBC, South Carolina, Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Wall Street Journal, Washington Times
  • What Ails the GOP

    Josh Marshall isolates a single sentence from The Washington Times — D.C.'s conservative paper — that pretty much sums it all up

    Extramarital affairs, gambling, alcohol abuse, prostitution and sexual pursuit of minors have taken a toll on the GOP.

    Believe it or not, there's actually a full article attached to that sentence. Though, I can't see why that's even necessary.

    Tags: Republicans, Washington Times