Let's kick this one off with some direct quotes from our candidate du
I, Goodspaceguy, ask that you think of our Earth as a natural spaceship that travels in our solar system around our star, the Sun, and with our Sun travels within our Milky Way Galaxy, a collection of hundreds of billions of solar systems.
Let's solve national and world problems from the viewpoint that we are crewmembers and voters of our Spaceship Earth.
Goodspaceguy is running for U.S. Representative to Congress from the 7th Congressional District of Washington state, and he thinks space is, well, good.
Yes, he changed his name to Goodspaceguy. And yes, he's a habitual office-seeker. And yes, Goodspaceguy is a big, big proponent of orbital space colonization to escape catastrophic asteroids. All of these things are true.
But here is the most shocking thing about Goodspaceguy. Just because he changed his name to advertise in one word what his one platform is, he’s not a one-issue candidate. He's also in favor of D.C. voting rights, increased investment in medical research and making Puerto Rico the 51st state.
Those are pretty reasonable ideas! Of all the insane legislation our leaders have suggested or actually passed, Goodspaceguy is certainly notbadspace. He hasn't caused the Trail of Tears or expanded the use of missile-equipped drones in countries we're not at war with, at least not yet, so that's got to count for something. Sure, Goodspaceguy equates Seattle's public transportation to a high-class hooker, but he's also for walkable communities. If you met a human who came from a planet with no politics, would he or she think the ideas of an average sitting president sound sane?
Basically what I’m trying to say is that frog-worship is no more ridiculous than Christianity, to an atheist. That’s all I’m saying. Well that, and Goodspaceguy is a third-party candidate in a hotly-contested race, because of course.
Goodspaceguy photo via his awesome blog.
Previously: Greg and Bobbie Gallas, "One-two ballot punch"
Our friends at Dr Pepper are going to send Mr. Goodspaceguy a one-of-a-kind t-shirt, and you get to choose its slogan:
Want a custom t-shirt of your own? Of course you do! Head to DrPepper.com and get started.
Tags: One of a Kind Candidates, Washington
* Bill Mahr on gay penguins.
* Presidential pups and pusses.
* The New Yorker makes a funny.
* McSweeney's Alec Bings on the mythos of Washington.
* Politics: What you say vs. what you mean, from College Humor.
* Celebrate the Greatest Generation's meh-ny accomplishments, with The Onion.
Tags: Bo Obama, College Humor, Daily Links, Jimmy Carter, Mitt Romney, Republicans, Richard Nixon, The New Yorker, The Onion, Washington, White House, WWII
* Your pet says a lot about what kind of political animal you are, from Animal Planet.
* Were we supposed to come to any sort of conclusion about last night's results? The Onion says no.
* Funny or Die's Super Tuesday spin room is dizzyingly funny.
* Here's a new alcoholic drink you're going to want to throw up at the end of the night.
* Mother Jones article or Walking Dead fan fiction?
* It's a Free Country does a live video broadcast of Super Tuesday featuring comedian Baratunde Thurston.
Tags: Barack Obama, Chicago, Daily Links, Mother Jones, Sports, Super Tuesday, The Onion, Washington
Do you feel the Mittmentum blowing from the Pacific coast? If not, it's because you haven't heard the amazing news that Mitt Romney has captured a plurality of votes in a non-binding Washington state caucus poll, which is only tangentially related to the selection of county delegates… who will in turn select state delegates that will in turn attend the national… Zzzzz…
Mitt Romney gained a symbolic victory in Washington on Saturday, pulling down the most votes at the state's Republican precinct caucuses. Symbolic in the sense that he can claim another win heading into this week's Super Tuesday contests.
Symbolic in the sense that he captured a plurality, but nowhere near a majority of votes in the statewide poll. U.S. Rep. Ron Paul and former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum each had about a fourth of the votes statewide…
Symbolic in the sense that he didn't win any delegates needed for the GOP presidential nomination. The straw poll is an indication of support the candidates have among Republicans attending caucuses around the state, but it's nonbinding.
But at least Mr. Excitement himself was so overwhelmed with feeling that he managed to say something newsworthy: "We've just won our fifth state in a row with Washington State which is good news." It's Republican primary bingo! Ugh, please let it be Super Tuesday already.
Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images
Tags: Mitt Romney, Primaries, Republicans, Washington
Today truly is a wondrous day to be a small-minded bigot in the Evergreen State.
Up until now, it had always been taken for granted that gay people are sub-citizens, unworthy of benefiting from the same legal protections as their straight friends and family. But, now — for the first time in their state's storied 123 year history — Washington's vibrant community of hate-filled xenophobes will actually get to take an active roll in oppressing an already-oppressed minority and strip gay people of their government-provided rights…
In a crowded reception room surrounded by applauding gay couples and lawmakers, and with media from around the country looking on, Gov. Chris Gregoire on Monday signed landmark legislation legalizing same-sex marriage in Washington state…
Opponents of same-sex marriage intended to quickly file a referendum aimed at repealing the law, and if they are able to collect enough valid signatures — 120,577 — between now and June 6, the law will be put on hold until the November election.
All it takes is a simple flourish of your pen, and you can destroy a family's life. What an amazing opportunity.
Tags: Chris Gregoire, Homophobia, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Washington